Chloe's First Day of Kindergarten

This past Thursday my granddaughter, Chloe, started Kindergarten. I am still in disbelief that she is already five years old. Her first day was a little traumatic. Going from a comfortable and familiar daycare environment to the bustling confusion of the first day of a new school year could be traumatic for anyone. To be honest, I think her mother was more upset than Chloe. I am an over protective "Pa Paw" but I know Chloe will be fine and she will quickly adapt to her new life. The picture above is Chloe standing outside her new classroom.

On The Road Again Through Space And Time

I took Friday off from work. Since my son is home from school and could keep my wife company I thought I would take advantage of that and stay overnight with my friend, Fr. Dennis. I got up early, dropped my wife off at her office, and headed down the highway. I met Dennis for breakfast and then we spent much of the day driving around the beautiful back roads of the Kentucky countryside admiring nature and occasionally stopping at small country churches. The part of Kentucky where Dennis lives and where the Abbey of Gethsemani is located is very historical, especially if you are Catholic. Late in the afternoon when we returned to Dennis's home I decided to take a nap. It was about 3:00 PM when I laid on the bed. I woke up briefly about 4:00 PM. The house was perfectly silent. Thinking Dennis might also be taking a nap I made no attempt to get up. The next thing I know it was 6:00 PM and Dennis was standing in the doorway of my room going, "You getting up, bro"? I had been sleeping like Rip Van Winkle. It felt so good. When I got up we went out again for a brief drive in the Kentucky twilight. Later, when it was bed time, I had no trouble falling asleep again and I slept like a baby until Dennis's two Basset Hounds woke up and began yelping. It just showed how tired I was and what a good sleeping environment a quiet home in the country can be. After waking up and having breakfast I spent most of the morning at the monastery where I met with a group of friends, attended mass with the monks, and had a delightful lunch. I am blessed to have such friends and such a place as the monastery in my life. Since I once lived there as a young novice, it still feels like home.

I've been taking another trip this weekend. I say that with some hesitation. This weekend is the 40th anniversery of the famous Woodstock Music and Art Fair in 1969. When I got home this past Thursday there was a musical dream on my door step. The new six CD, eight hour, musical retrospective of Woodstock titled "Woodstock, 40 Years On: Back to Yasgur's Farm" had arrived. I have been in hippie heaven. It's obvious that a lot of love and care went into this musical collection. Much of the music has never been heard before. The six CD's and all of the performances are sequenced in the exact running order of the actual festival. It includes not only musical performances but many of the now famous stage announcements and the sounds of the massive thunderstorm that turned the festival grounds into a sea of mud. This collection really gives you a sense of being there. I did not attend the Woodstock Festival. The next summer, in 1970, I did attend an event just as big called the Atlanta International Pop Festival. A little while ago I received a call from my long time friend, Tom, reminding me what we were doing 40 years ago during the Woodstock weekend. It was the summer of our high school graduation. While Woodstock was occurring in New York the two of us were taking the acid trip of a life time. 40 years later we are still trying to piece together the events of that weekend. Now we are still friends who are much older and preparing to attend our 40th high school reunion in a few weeks. All of us from the Woodstock generation are a lot further down the road these days.

A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

So sang Bob Dylan on his "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan" album. Well, a hard rain fell last week causing lots of flooding and misery for many, many people. Tonight there's more hard rain. I hope it doesn't cause people any more heartache. Normally this rain would be a welcome sight. Today was dreadfully hot and humid. I live in what is called the "Ohio Valley". It's a beautiful place but an allergy hell if you are prone to such things. Most of my life I been unaffected though I often wonder if I have ever breathed at full capacity. In the last year I seem to have fallen victim to local pollens, molds, and spores. My nose has been running, I'm sneezing, and, when outdoors, breathing is difficult. I'll need another allergy pill at bed time. All of this aside, I have been enjoying a quiet night. I've done a few Zen chores like cleaning up the kitchen and washing a load of laundry. It's a typical Monday night. My son left this morning for a seminarian retreat at the Sisters of Loreto in Springfield, Kentucky near the Abbey of Gethsemani. He'll be gone most of the week, followed by another week at home, before reporting to St Meinrad School of Theology for his first year of theological studies. This coming Thursday my granddaughter, Chloe, begins her first year of real school. Yes, little Chloe starts kindergarten this week. Meanwhile, I continue living my same life of daily work where I dream of the weekend. In the evenings, if I can stay awake, I read the morning newspaper, listen to music, and, occasionally, reading books. Sadly, I don't read as much as I used to or as much as I desire. I am simply too brain dead on work nights. The young people I know are preparing for their futures, whether they know what they will be or not. I'm not sure I am preparing for anything. The future is uncertain. The parts that seem certain I don't always want to think about. When one gets older the future gets a lot smaller. What to do? An obvious answer is to maximize the present by being as alive to it as you can be. This can sometimes be a struggle when one is bored with the routines of life or fatigued by their demands. It hard to be awake when you are asleep. Still, with whatever energy I can muster, I try. Practice makes perfect. If I keep trying, maybe I will someday be good at it.

1969 - 2009 40 Years Down The Road

When 2008 turned into 2009 I had no immediate idea that it would be a year with so many memories. In 1969 I was eighteen years old. I graduated from high school. It was the summer of Woodstock and the first steps of men on the moon. Of course, it wasn't all good. The Vietnam War was raging on, Sharon Tate and her friends were brutally murdered by Charles Manson and some of his followers, and in December of 1969 the good vibes of Woodstock were destroyed when a young black man was murdered by a Hell's Angel in front of Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones at the now infamous Altamont concert. This event was memorialized in the film "Gimme Shelter". On a more personal level, I will soon be attending my 40th high school reunion. I graduated with nearly 500 people. Almost all of them have been tracked down. 30 people from my class have died. The rest are all over the United States. I always find it amazing how you can spend a chunk of your life with a group of people, or share an event with thousands of people, only to realize later that you will never be together with those same people again. Lately I have received a steady flow of emails pertaining to my reunion. There is a group of very dedicated former classmates who have done a lot of work tracking down people and organizing the event. Occasionally one of these emails will contain a photo of the planning committee. My friend, Tom, a classmate and friend for 40 years, and myself, joked that everyone in the picture "looked like bunch of old people". When I shared this with my wife, she said, "Have you looked in the mirror lately"? There's no doubt that everyone, including me, has traveled many miles since 1969. We are not the youthful, energetic, young people we once were. I'm sure many have had very good lives. Others, I am also sure, have probably had more difficult times. Regardless of the ups and downs of my own journey, I am glad to be one of the survivors. I look forward to seeing old friends that are still part of my life as well as the many that I have not seen in 40 years. I'm still blown away that 40 years has passed! This reminds me how important it is to live in the moment. It's the only effective way to put the brake on and slow things down. Regardless of age, I am still a rock and roller and a pretty cool Pa Paw. I'm not part of the "Walker Brigade" yet!

The Joy Of Friday Night

If you are a person like me, a person on the 9 to 5 treadmill of daily work, there is no feeling like finally getting home on a Friday Night. You've survived another week of work demands and the prospect of getting to sleep in on Saturday seems like a great gift. At my age I rarely do anything exciting on a Friday night. In my youth I couldn't get out on the streets fast enough. Those were days of endless energy. These days I can barely maintain minimum life support systems. Staring into space and breathing...at the same time...can sometimes seem like a great challenge. Although I look forward to Friday, it is a difficult time to get through during the day. Going out to lunch with my friend Wendy, or other friends on occasion, is usually the highlight of the day. The remainder of the day is difficult. Most of my staff works at home and I rarely see them. Many of those in the office only work half days on Fridays. The exception to that is the management. We are expected to work a full day whether we need to do so or not. Of course, some would say management works half days everyday even though we are there all day. Needless to say, Friday afternoons are a ghost town in my office. When the imaginary whistle goes off in my head at quitting time I practically run out of the building. Today was no exception. Waiting for my wife outside of her office is also challenging. The meter maids walking up and down the streets ticket cars as easily as shooting fish in a barrel. I am always on alert for their bright yellow shirts. I spend at least part of my waiting time playing hide and seek with them. Today I eventually found a hiding place in front of the local County Attorney's office where dead beat dads were running in and out dropping off their past due child support payments. Eventually my cell phone rang. My wife was out on the curb awaiting her chariot. We then met my son for dinner. Now I am in my room with some Sly and the Family Stone jamming in the background. A late evening cup of coffee sits beside me. Hopefully, this jolt of java will keep me awake until bedtime. I am giddy with joy at the prospect of sleeping in a few extra hours in the morning. Tomorrow afternoon my wife and I, along with our son, will attend a seminarian's picnic with the Archbishop of Louisville. I think that's my only commitment for the weekend. I hope so. A day of complete rest and relaxation of Sunday would be an added joy to the weekend.

Lots Of Rain!

I was having a very quiet week until yesterday morning. Shortly after I arrived at my office the sky turned ink black, the heavens opened up, and more rain fell in one hour than ever before in the history of local weather forecasting. For a while it seemed that Judgement Day had arrived. In actual fact the local meteorologists didn't see this one coming. They knew it would rain but they didn't know the massive storm would build up over Louisville and hold its ground. Approximately six inches of rain fell in little over an hour. It completely overwhelmed the local drainage system. Our local library was hit especially hard and thousands of books were destroyed. Many cars stalled in high water or were flooded in parking lots. Other local landmarks that were also hit hard by the flooding were the University of Louisville and Churchill Downs, home of the Kentucky Derby. I was more fortunate than most. There was no flooding in my neighborhood and while at work I was safe and dry on the 11th floor of my building, though at one point the glass Atrium above me shuddered under the high winds. My car was also safe and dry on the 2nd floor of my parking garage. A second storm occurred in the afternoon adding more water to an already critical situation. My thoughts and prayers are with all those whose homes or businesses were damaged. Fortunately there were no deaths or serious injuries.

Photographs

Earlier this week I was rummaging through a closet when I discovered a box of forgotten photographs. They were quite a revelation. These pictures represented snapshots of my life for the last 30 plus years. What struck me the most was how many happy moments there have been. Some of the events in these pictures were the births and childhoods of my two sons, many Christmas mornings and other family celebrations, trips to the mountains, Grateful Dead concerts, visits to the monastery, and more. There were pictures of me with hair down to my shoulders. These brought smiles to my face since I am sitting here now looking like a Buddhist monk with a beard. Now, in these days of the empty nest and occasional unhappiness, I pause to think that many of my best years were the years of raising my children. In spite of this I refuse to think the best years are all in the past. I want to live with the mentality that today is as good as any other day and that the future is full of promise. Each stage of life should have its own value and rewards. My children are grown men but now I have a beautiful five year old granddaughter who worships the ground I walk on. I am still working but the dream of retirement is in sight and within my grasp. My body isn't what it used to be but I think my mind and heart are better than ever. These old pictures brought back a lot of happy memories but they also brought some sadness. I was reminded of family members, especially my wife's parents and my father, who are no longer with us. Death and my own aging has changed my life. Lifestyles and traditions of the past are gone forever and new lifestyles and traditions are being created. I'm glad I found these photographs. They remind me that my life has probably been better than I think it has and perhaps I have not always been as grateful as I should be. Going forward, I will mourn some of what has passed, try to be happier in the moment, and always be hopeful for the good memories that haven't been experienced yet.