Our Minds

“Do not encumber your mind with useless thoughts.  What good does it do to brood on the past or anticipate the future?  Remain in the simplicity of the present moment”.

-Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche

 

Our minds can be such wonderful things.  Over the years I have enjoyed the development of my intellect and imagination.  I love it that I can sit down each day and spontaneously write these daily thoughts.  All of them are written in approximately five minutes with no prior thought.  Other times, however, my mind can torment me and keep me awake at night.  I don’t tend to be a worrier but sometimes I am guilty of imaginary conversations that I should have had or I want to have.  Sometimes I torment myself with how I wish I had said something differently.  Words out of your mouth are like water over the damn.  I sometimes enjoy thinking about past experiences that were a lot of fun or meaningful but I generally have few regrets.  I also look forward to the future but I don’t worry about it.  I am going to retire from working for a living in one year.  Do I have enough money?  Time will tell.  What I know is that I have done the best job I could do to prepare for retirement so I am going to take the leap and hope for the best.  By remaining in the present moment, and enjoying it as best you can, you won’t have time for regrets or worries.  Life has a way of taking care of itself and despite the fact that I’ve had some bad experiences, I have not had a bad life.  Change your thinking and change your life.  This one sentence summarizes most of the philosophical or self-help teachings I have ever read.  Our minds can give us some of our greatest joys or they can fill our lives with mostly imaginary suffering.  It's up to you.

 

Noise

“Not merely an absence of noise, real silence begins when a reasonable being withdraws from the noise in order to find peace and order in his inner sanctuary”.

-Peter Minard

 

Some times when I take a walk outside I cannot believe how noisy it is.  There have even been times when I was listening to music and it was so noisy I couldn’t hear my music.  We have almost reached a saturation point on this planet when there is no place on earth where you can get away from human activity and noise.  This is to say nothing about the noise inside each of our heads.  Most of us go through our day trying to accomplish our tasks despite the inner chatter that fills our thoughts.  I have used the analogy before of a tree full of monkeys to describe what is going on in our heads on a daily basis.  How can we stop the noise?  There is all kinds of noise.  A dump truck going down Main Street can be deafening.  It is a rare day that I don’t encounter an ambulance or fire truck on my evening commute.  If you work in the office there is often commotion and noise.  I am a music lover but a monk once said that even Beethoven played all day is noise.  By being present to the moment, by focusing on our breathing, and be taking advantage of all opportunities to be in quiet places, we can minimize the noise in our lives.  Spend some time in your day today being alone, being still, and being quiet.   

Practicing Mindfulness Is Befriending Yourself

Mindfulness is the art of befriending yourself.

 

It is not selfish to think of yourself unless you are doing it every minute of the day.  Mindfulness is a gift you give to yourself.  When I step back and breathe, I am healing myself on many levels and that makes me a better person.  By befriending myself and allowing myself to heal my own brokenness, it is also good for other people.  The more I am centered within myself, the more calmly I can deal with the rest of the world.  When I am really calm I can even deal with people who are difficult or obnoxious.  It is important to love yourself but not to the level of being a total narcissist.  A person with self- esteem, confidence, and a calm spirit is a person who can change the world around him.  Two of my favorite examples of such people are the Dalai Lama and Gandhi.  You don’t have to be a jerk or an authoritarian type person to be highly effective.  In fact, quite the opposite will probably be true because those around you will be quietly revolting against you.  I have never suffered from being too kind or too compassionate.  A kind and compassionate person is not a weak person.  They generally have a strong presence and more often than not make great leaders.  Stop, breathe, love yourself, be kind and compassionate, and you will be a positive force in the world.    

The Value Of Meditation

“Meditation is the ultimate mobile device; you can use it anywhere, anytime, unobtrusively”.

-Sharon Salzberg

 

Once you acquire an education, no one can take it away from you.  You might end up as a CEO or a derelict but you will still have that Master’s Degree.  The same is true when you have a skill.  After 30+ years at Humana, I am confident that I can manage people here and anywhere else I might end up.  I also know how to meditate.  I have been studying it and practicing it since the 1970’s.  I have done it at work, at home, in the woods, on airplanes, and in monasteries.  Meditation is like going to the gym.  On a day to day basis it may not appear to be doing anything.  Meditation does its work in secret.  Over time it changes you.  Recently, in a situation that would normally upset me and make me want to fight, I remained unusually calm.  That is one of the effects I want meditation to have.  Believe it or not, I am not always as calm as I appear.  I am getting old but there is still a lot of fight in me.  Other times I have used meditation to control pain or relieve minor anxiety.  I still don’t have the personal discipline to meditate as regularly as I should or want.  It is easy to do in the early morning before I leave home for the office.  It’s very difficult for me at the end of an exhausting work day.  I usually fall asleep but one teacher told me that’s OK because that is what I am needing in that moment.  I encourage all of you to take some time throughout your day and simply breathe.  Stop what you are doing, be still for a few minutes, and simply breathe.  It doesn’t take much effort and like physical exercise it will transform you over time.  We all live in a stressful and challenging world.  Breathing helps… 

Empowerment

“Power is about what you can control.  Freedom is about what you can unleash”.

-Harriet Rubin

 

In today’s world a lot is said about empowerment.  What does that really mean?  It doesn’t mean letting everyone run wild.  In much of corporate America there are rules about everything.  Over and above the rules that are actually documented, there are the rules people just make up on the spot.  When confronted with imaginary rules I have often asked, “Where is that written”?  Over the years I have also noticed that people sometimes follow rules they think exist when, in fact, there is no such rule.  It is not unusual for people to say, “It’s not my job”.  Another common phrase I’ve heard is, “I thought we aren’t supposed to do that”?  Some rules are necessary, usually because of bad behavior on someone’s part, and many things need guidelines, but many other rules are just constricting.  I once read about a company who had no rules.  Their associate handbook simply said, “You were hired for your intelligence and good judgment.  Use it”.  This describes empowerment.  Employers must believe that their employees are not idiots and they must trust them to make the right decisions, especially if they are in leadership positions.  A lack of trust encourages people to not take initiative or think outside the box.  Most employees are more concerned with following the rules and staying out of trouble because many organizations are fear driven.  Organizations that are full of rules and specific expectations about how things should be done can stifle creativity, independent thinking, and associate growth.  Always following the rules is a power game.  Empowerment can release untold possibilities and unlimited potential in people who may feel and act like drones in overly controlled environments.  Set people free and see what they can do.  You might be pleasantly surprised at the results.

 

Life Is Our Teacher

“Each place is the right place, the place where I now am can be a sacred place”.

-Ravi Ravindra

 

This is a difficult teaching for me to accept.  In a cosmic, generic way I can believe that all of life and everything in it is sacred.  Life feels less sacred, however, when I am stuck in a traffic jam, having a bad day at work, or I have jacked up my television and I can’t get it to do what I want it to do.  Many spiritual teachers have taught that it is the challenges and difficulties of life that are our greatest teachers.  Many people believe that insight is received in quieter moments or in formal periods of meditation.  This is certainly true at times.  When I am frustrated or annoyed I am not always open to what the moment is teaching me.  Some moments of my life I feel like little more than a grumpy old man.  In other more enlightened moments I try to understand why I am annoyed or frustrated.  I try not to let my emotions get the better of me.  Most of the time I am trying to understand why I am having the emotional response that I am feeling.  I tend to focus more on understanding my negative emotions but sometimes I also try to understand why I am feeling happy.  It bothers me when I sense my negative emotions outnumber my joyful ones.  Your day, and how you react to it, can be a great teacher.  Some days, however, I pass the class of life, some days I fail it, and with increasing desire I often want to skip the class of life and play hooky.          

Relax! Nothing Is Under Control!

“As we encounter new experiences with a mindful and wise attention, we discover that one of three things will happen to our new experience:  it will go away, it will stay the same, or it will get more intense.  Whatever happens does not really matter”.

-Jack Kornfield

 

I once saw a picture of the serene Buddha sitting calmly with the caption “Relax.  Nothing is under control”.  We human beings like to control everything when the reality is that we control nothing.  The best we can do is flow with life and try to guide it’s energy.  My wife is a firm believer in Murphy’s Law.  Murphy’s Law, for those unfamiliar with it, is that if anything can go wrong, it will.  We can plan.  We can prepare.  We can hope.  None of these things will guarantee anything.  The best thing we can do is be open to the unexpected and be flexible with the reality of the moment.  It’s a worn out phrase but I still like “It is what it is”.  I can leave work at the end of the day and everything is looking good and I am current.  The next morning can be a disaster.  The same is true with all of life.  Each day is what it is.  I disagree with the part of the above quote that says, “Whatever happens does not really matter”.  What happens to us does matter.  However, we cannot control life so that it always unfolds as we would like it to do so.  If that were true, I would already be retired with $5,000,000 in the bank and a home in Hawaii.  Life requires us to bend with the wind and not always stand firm against it.  Standing firm, or being inflexible can cause us to snap.  Bending with the wind allows us to bounce back when the wind has ceased blowing.