Free Us From Anxiety And Worry

In concentrating simply and solely upon what is happening at this moment, anticipation and anxiety vanish.

-Alan Watts

 

Right before I started writing this daily thought I consumed an entire bag of sweet and salty trail mix.  Notice that I wasn’t writing the daily thought while I was eating the trail mix.  I didn’t mean to eat the entire bag but I was in a state of heavenly bliss and lost all self-control.  However, in the moment of trail mix consumption, all anticipation and anxiety vanished.  This mindfulness stuff really works when you practice it enough.  You cannot think two separately thoughts at the same time.  If you are having multiple thoughts, you are bouncing around from one thought to another.  If you think I am wrong, I challenge you to think two separate and distinct thoughts at the same time.  It is the same when you are concentrating on one activity at a time.  When you are concentrating simply and solely upon what is happening in the moment, nothing else exists.  When I was concentrating on the consumption of my trail mix, I was relieved of all work anxiety, at least until the trail mix was gone.  Multi-thinking, or having too much going on in your mind at the same time, and multi-tasking, doing too many things at the same time, is the source of much stress in our lives.  When you eliminate anxiety, you eliminate stress.  In the Catholic mass, one of the prayers said by the priest is “Free us, Lord, from all anxiety”.  Even on a spiritual level, anxiety is seen as something that oppresses our lives.  We will still have occasional moments of stress that are beyond our control but most of our reactions to life are within our control.  May we all be free of anxiety and worry.        

In The End Everything Will Be Perfect

“In the end everything will be perfect.  If it’s not perfect now it’s because the end is not here yet”.

 

This is a line from a wonderful movie I once saw called “The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel”.  It’s the story of a random group of senior citizens who decide to retire in India.  Admittedly I may have identified with the characters because I am older.  However, I think the movie has a message for everyone regardless of their age.  The message I took from the movie is this.  You are never too old to find yourself.  In the movie the different characters come from a variety of backgrounds and life experiences.  None of them have any idea what to expect from moving to India.  The “Best Exotic Marigold Hotel” is in many ways a dump that has been highly over rated on its website.  Everyone seemed apprehensive when they first arrived.  There was the obvious culture shock.  Eventually all but one settled into their new home and culture.  By jumping into the flow of life in India, and not resisting it or fighting it, they came to a new self-awareness.  The movie reminded me that all of life is a journey and the journey is the destination.  It also reminded me that most of us have no idea where the journey will take us.  The important thing is to enjoy the journey, be open to all of life’s possibilities, and when the journey is over, everything will be perfect.  If your life is not perfect yet, your journey is not over.        

A Week With My Granddaughter

My granddaughter has been at my home since last Friday night.  This means my wife and I have been full time grandparents all week.  First of all, hats off to all grandparents who are raising their grandchildren full time.  I was 27 years old when Chloe’s father was born and 31 years old when his brother came along.  I spent my thirties and forties raising my children.  I am now 65 years old and my wife is 63 years old.  We are not used to having a 12 year old girl in our home 24/7, especially one full of teenage existential angst.  Young girls have quite a lot of drama in their life.  I love my granddaughter to the moon and back.  She’s a really cool kid and she has given me a lot of joy.  However, I am not used to being the home work police or a chauffeur doing the school drop off each morning as well as the after school pick up.  I feel like I am driving a thousand miles a day in rush hour traffic.  When it is bedtime and grandma and grandpa are more than ready for dreamland, she is bouncing off the walls with endless energy.  Most of this energy is spent doing things that make me laugh.  I guess it is obvious why most of us have our children when we are young.  It takes a lot of energy to be a parent, especially if you are a single mom or dad.  In spite of these challenges to my old age, I treasure this time.  It feels like Chloe was just born yesterday and she is already 12 years old.  It won’t be too many more years when hanging out with grandpa and grandma will be low on her priority list.  I feel very blessed that Chloe and I bonded very early in her life.  There is not much we don’t discuss although she sometimes gets weary of me giving her so many “life lessons”.  I told her that’s part of my job description as a grandfather.  Most of the time we just hang out together and each do our own thing.  I feel very blessed to have her in my life.     

 

I Could Tell You Were Meditating

Breathing in, I calm my body.

Breathing out, I smile.

Dwelling in the present moment,

I know this is a wonderful moment!

 

Being calm does not come naturally to me despite how I often appear to other people.  Sometimes I get fired up and do what my family calls “Dad flailing”.

 

The quote above is from a book I once read called Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh who is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk.  The book is about practicing mindfulness in everyday life.  One passage I read was about how we all think too much.  For most of us our minds have a never ending tape loop that plays over and over.  Much of what we think about is not worth the time and a great number of our thoughts are negative.  By focusing on our breath, we can reduce the amount of time wasted on unnecessary and potentially negative thinking.  Realistically, we cannot stop all thinking.  Many of life’s daily tasks require some level of intellectual activity.  However, I give you this challenge.  Today, when you are not involved in a task that requires you to think, don’t think.  Between your tasks that require thinking, focus on your breath and enjoy the stillness that it will bring.  If you choose to have a cup of coffee or tea during these moments, smell the aroma of the coffee or tea, pay attention to the taste of your coffee or tea, and finally, enjoy it in a very mindful way.  For those few moments let your attention be on your breathing and the experience of your drink.  Such intentional focus is what mindfulness is all about.

 

Focusing on your breath can also help with anxiety.  On my last airplane excursion I had to fly one leg of my trip on standby.  Minutes before takeoff my family got the last six seats on a flight and they were scattered all over the plane.  I ended up at the back of the plane in a window seat with two strangers sitting next to me.  This would normally give me great anxiety.  I thought it was a good time to practice what I preach.  I sat in my seat, closed my eyes, and began focusing on my breath.  The flight lasted about an hour and I did not feel any anxiety.  Eventually I got into a conversation with the lady sitting next to me.  We talked about mindfulness and I told her I had been practicing mindfulness on the flight.  She replied, “I could tell you were meditating”. 

Living In Your Head

“Whenever you are in the head…thinking, brooding, calculating, cunning, clever…you are not total.  Slowly, slowly, slip out of those moments.  It is just an old habit.  Habits die hard.  But they die certainly, if one persists, they die.”

-Osho

 

Among the many personality variations, all people fall into one of three psychological sub-groups.  There are people who live in their heads.  There are people who are relational and how they appear to others is of primary importance to them.  Finally, there are people who are gut types that tend to react to life in ways that are not always logical.  I am most familiar with gut types because I am one.  Of course, human behavior is much more complicated than these simple generalizations.  Regardless of which type we are most of the time, I think all of us tend to spend a great deal of time living in our heads.  The mind is a whirling dervish of ideas, dreams, fantasies, and unsubstantiated fears.  If you are a person who is constantly afraid you are probably a person who lives in your head.  You probably worry endlessly about things that either haven’t happened or are unlikely to happen to you.  Most of your fears are not based on reality.  It is based on your own thoughts and fantasies.  Many people think of their heart as the engine of their bodies.  However, I would like to suggest that for most people their mind is what drives their life.  Your mind is not a computer that is programed to respond in specific ways to specific life challenges.  In reality, your mind strives to program you and how you respond to life.  Your mind can be a source of great intellectual and creative ideas as well as the source of all your imaginary fears.  Your mind doesn’t change reality.  It changes your perception of reality.  Control your mind and you control your life.         

Enclosures

This is an old daily thought but one I think about on a regular basis, especially in a world with nonstop bombardment of noise, images, and news, most of which is bad.  I want to be open to lifer and what goes on around me but I also want to control as much as possible who and what I allow in my life.

 

Monasteries have something called an enclosure.  In some cases this is an actual wall that separates the monastery from everything outside the monastery.  At least in the past, when a man or a woman entered a monastery, the attitude was that they were leaving the world behind.  In a sense, the wall, or enclosure, was a metaphorical and physical way to be separated from the world.  In today’s highly technical world this has become much more challenging.  There are now computers in the monastery and the internet has crept into sacred spaces once free of most worldly influences.  We can all have some version of an enclosure in our lives.  We can decide, most of the time, who and what we allow to enter our personal enclosures.  For example, I struggle on a regular basis whether or not I should watch the news, especially the local news.  It seems to be totally filled with negative stories about murders, robberies, serial killers, scams, or many other real and imaginary dangers to our lives.  I find it all quite depressing.  I want to be informed but I don’t want to allow all that negative energy and fear into my life.  Imagine that your five senses, especially your sight and your hearing are like open windows to your home.  Do you want everything to have access to your home?  Do you want everything to be able to just fly in whenever it wants?  Probably not.  That’s why most people have screens on their windows.  You want the fresh air but you want to screen out the insects and other things that the wind might carry in.  Therefore, make sure your screens are in good condition.  Build yourself a personal enclosure wall to keep out those people and things that bring you down or create unnecessary fear in your life.  

Mindful Eating

When was the last time you practiced mindfulness while eating?  Recent news articles have lamented the loss of the “lunch hour” for many of today’s workers.  Everyone thinks they are too busy to eat.  I think among some management people the need for a break or lunch is seen as a sign of weakness or lack of dedication.  I don’t care who you are or what you do, your life would be better served by taking occasional breaks along with a mindful lunch where you actually taste your food and enjoy the experience.  I am not talking about a rushed trip through the McDonald’s Drive Thru and a quick consumption of your Chicken McNuggets as you drive back to the office.  I am talking about taking the time to be totally present to yourself and your food.  I am talking about a relaxed and mindful time where you can be one with your meal.  You can smell it’s aroma, feel it’s texture, and taste it’s flavors in an unhurried and relaxing manner.  Today I challenge you to pay attention to whatever you eat.  Think about what you are eating.  Where did it come from?  If you are eating a piece of fruit think about the farmer who grew it.  Say a blessing for the person who picked it.  Remember the truck driver who delivered it to your local market.  Remember that many people worked so that you can have this food.  Most of all, be thankful and grateful that you have something to eat.  Many people in this world will not eat today.