Living In The Center

We can bring our spiritual practice into the streets, into our communities, when we see each realm as a temple, as a place to discover that which is sacred.

-Jack Kornfield

 

When I think about religion and spirituality the image of a bicycle wheel immediately come to mind.  The hub is at the center of the wheel.  The outer rim of the wheel, where the rubber meets the road, represents religion.  For me the center, or hub of the wheel, represents the contemplative life.  The contemplative life represents the experience of God or the universe or whatever has deep spiritual value to you.  The hub, the center, the contemplative experience, is where all mystics live, whether they be Christian, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Hindu, or whatever.  The outer rim represents religion.  This is where individual beliefs, dogmas, and doctrine tend to be different.  This is where we sometimes lose our connectedness with one another.  This is where we each tend to believe that “we” have the “truth”.  This is where people can be the furthest apart.  It is in the “center” where we are closest together.  It is on the experiential, contemplative level that we see each person and each realm as a temple and as a place which is sacred.  Outside of the center is where we tend to see ourselves as different from one another, i.e., a Catholic or Protestant Christian, a Jew, a Buddhist, a Hindu, a Muslim, etc.  Identities tend to become invisible or non-existent when people are in the center.  I believe that all spiritual practice should lead us to this center.  It is where everything and everyone comes together. 

Patience

Patience also contains a wonderful teaching about desire: wish for something, sure, but be at peace when you can’t have it.  Patience knows you can’t make the river flow any faster.

-Rick Hanson 

I am continually blown away by people’s lack of patience.  Recently I was on the receiving end of an old lady’s road rage because I was making a left turn and she didn’t have the sense to drive around me.  Everywhere I go that involves being with the general public I witness people being impatience.  I see people on the verge of nervous breakdowns as they wait for their carry out order at McDonalds.  It is a rare day when someone doesn’t honk at me during my evening commute.  I know I am an old man, and I tend to drive defensively, but I am also a courteous driver.  If you are trying to merge into my lane I even flash my lights to let you know I see you and I’ve got your back.  A lack of patience in dealing with everyday inconveniences shows a great deal of selfishness on people’s parts.  We live in a time when people expect instant gratification because they believe their needs matter more than anyone else’s.  There have been instances when I have shown patience that were criticized as a lack of assertiveness.  I wasn’t being unassertive.  I was just not being a jerk.  Yesterday I was talking to a man that came to check my home air conditioning.  The guy impressed me with his overall knowledge of many subjects.  He was obviously well read and educated.  I was just trying to establish some rapport with the guy.  However, he saw my outdoor Buddha sitting in front of my air conditioner and the next thing I know we are discussing Buddhism.  The simplest, cleaned up definition of Buddhism is “Don’t be a jerk”.  Remember this the next time you are inclined to be impatient.     

Be The Best Version Of Yourself

Through meditation, we become aware of ourselves exactly as we are, by waking up to the numerous subtle ways that we act out our own selfishness.  Then we truly begin to be genuinely selfless.  Cleansing yourself of selfishness is not a selfish act.

-Bhante Henepola Gunaratana 

To see ourselves as others see us is a most salutary gift.  Hardly less important is the capacity to see others as they see themselves.

-Aldous Huxley 

Part of the psychological and spiritual journey is to know yourself as you truly are.  Spiritual masters speak of the true self and the false self.  It can take a lifetime to discover your true self.  What is our true self?  It is the pure essence of who we really are at our core.  What most other people see on the surface is our masks, our personalities, and the character we play on the great stage of life. I have often used a story about what happens when people meet.  Imagine two people going on a date.  When two people are on a date there are actually six people present.  There is the person each of the people think the other person is.  There is the person each of the people there think they are.  Finally, there are the people each of the people really are.  We imagine who other people are, we imagine who we are, and then there‘s the reality of who each person is.  After a journey of 66+ years I still don’t have a complete picture of who I really am.  I have been down a few false paths of who I thought I was.  I know for a fact that many people think I am more than I really am.  One of the ways you know you are on the right path of self-discovery is when you begin to accept the more negative aspects of your being.  None of us is perfect but we still tend to identify ourselves based on the positive traits we think we have.  In fairness, we all do have some positive traits but they do not capture our complete being.  I have reached a point where I see myself as self-aware, sensitive, and reserved.  I think I am also emotionally honest, creative, and personal.  However, I can also be moody, self-conscious, melancholy, self-indulgence, and full of self-pity.  I don’t think I am better than anyone else but I do feel different than most other people.  All of you will feel some version of these positive and negative personality traits.  The goal is to be the best version of yourself that you can be while minimizing those aspects of your being that are less than perfect.

Self-Awareness Versus Self-Absorption

One of my sister-in-law’s often says, “Well, you know, 2% never get the message”.  What she means is that 2% of the population is totally clueless.  I would personally put the number much higher.  On a daily basis I am amazed at the lack of self-awareness and knowledge many people have about themselves and what is going on around them.  People, especially young people, seem very self-absorbed.  If you don’t believe me check out the volume of selfies on social media.  What’s ironic is how people can be both self-absorbed yet totally unaware at the same time.  While it is true that self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom, it is equally true that being aware of the world around you and what is going on in that world is also important.  I have sometimes been accused of being clueless.  The reality is that not much gets past me.  Just because I don’t acknowledge everything or comment about everything does not mean I am unaware of it.  My senses are like radar.  All day long I see and hear many things.  The secret, however, is not just to see or hear but to notice and to listen.  You can’t live life in a bubble.  Learn to be aware and to notice what goes on around you.  When a storm is coming my wife will sometimes text our sons.  Why?  She does it because neither of them routinely watch the news or weather reports.  At some point, however, you can’t depend on your mother to tell you to come in out of the rain or to be on the alert for a tornado.  People at work sometimes ask me about something and I usually respond, “Did you not read the email”?  In many cases they have not.  In order to be self-aware and knowledgeable you have to gather information.  If you walk around clueless because all of your sensors are turned off, or totally focused on yourself, don’t blame others when you wake up in the Land of Oz because you weren’t aware of the tornado warning.