Coffee With A Friend

Today is going to be a beautiful day but yesterday was another day of all day rain.  When I got out of bed, however, I received a text from an old friend and former co-worker that I haven't seen in over three years.  She asked me if I was available for a cup of coffee.  I quickly said yes and we agreed on a time and a place.  We had a lot of catching up to do.  We ended up talking for over two hours.  I think most of us have a friend or two that no matter how much time passes between visits it is though it's been no time at all when we finally see them.  A few years ago I met a friend for breakfast that I hadn't seen in over forty years.  She was my high school love and I dated her for a long time.  We quickly fell into a comfortable conversation.  We had a nice breakfast and then took a long walk across a walking bridge that connects Kentucky with Indiana.  Now we are best friends again.  

I love it when other people think of me.  Sometimes when you are retired from an active and busy life you can quickly feel forgotten.  I really love it when friends reach out to me for a coffee date, lunch, or just to see if I am doing okay.  As an introvert I am not very outgoing so my social life is very limited.  I don't like being with a lot of people.  In my working days I hated team lunches.  My preference was going out to lunch with one person.  I really enjoy a one on one interaction, especially with a person I feel a connection with or who shares some of my interests.  In most cases the one on one encounter allows you to have a deeper and more intimate interaction.  If you want me to die in front of you make me engage in small talk or "chit chat".  I absolutely loathe these types of social interaction.  Most people think I am a quiet person because in group settings I tend to say very little.  However, if I am with one, or maybe two, people that I really like and feel comfortable with I can be very extroverted and talkative.

If you miss someone, reach out to them.  It will probably make their day.  Unless, of course, they owe you money.

 

Sugar Mountain

 

It's been a quiet day at home. Outside my window is a gentle spring rain. It was coming down much harder just a little while ago. I love these ordinary days. In the background Neil Young sings the song whose lyrics are below. Today, at least metaphorically, I have been on Sugar Mountain. You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain but you can be seventy.

I love when I can drink my coffee, listen to my music, look out my window and be lost in the moment. Don't tell anyone but I used to do this all the time in the office when I worked. Now, of course, my time is mine and doing this at home is now my job.

Oh, to live on Sugar Mountain

With the barkers and the colored balloons
You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain
Though you're thinking that you're leaving there too soon
You're leaving there too soon
It's so noisy at the fair
But all your friends are there
And the candy floss you had
And your mother and your dad

Oh, to live on Sugar Mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons
You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain
Though you're thinking that you're leaving there too soon
You're leaving there too soon

There's a girl just down the aisle
Oh, to turn and see her smile
You can hear the words she wrote
As you read the hidden note

Oh, to live on Sugar Mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons
You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain
Though you're thinking that you're leaving there too soon
You're leaving there too soon

Now you're underneath the stairs
And you're givin' back some glares
To the people who you met
And it's your first cigarette
Oh, to live on Sugar Mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons
You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain
Though you're thinking that you're leaving there too soon
You're leaving there too soon

Now you say you're leavin' home
'Cause you want to be alone
Ain't it funny how you feel
When you're findin' out it's real

Oh, to live on Sugar Mountain
With the barkers and the colored balloons
You can't be twenty on Sugar Mountain
Though you're thinking that you're leaving there too soon
You're leaving there too soon

Re-Connecting While On The Run

My usual morning routine of leisurely drinking coffee with my wife, watching the news, and reading the newspaper didn't happen today.  Instead I had the unusual experience of having to wake up with an alarm clock so my wife could go to an early morning doctor appointment.  I actually like to get up early although I generally sleep in till about 9:00 AM.  I know that might sound late to those of you still in the workforce.  These days I tend to stay up late and then allow my body to wake up naturally.  I don't want to rub it in but it's one of the joys of retirement.  

We had a few errands to run this morning.  After the doctor appointment we stopped at a local McDonald's for coffee and a biscuit before heading to a local fruit market.  After getting what we needed, and dropping some of it off at our home, we headed out to visit son #2 with a gift of fresh fruit.  He thinks we come to his home to visit with him but we actually go there to visit with his two cats, Callie and Belle.  They have actually become quite attached to us.  Well, at least as attached as cats get attached to any humans.  Son #2, a.k.a Father Nick, is a Catholic priest and pastor of a parish in my hometown.  Callie and Belle are Zen Masters.

A very pleasant side effect of publishing some thoughts the last few days is that people from my past are contacting me as a result.  Some of them are people I actually know and some are strangers to me.  Since I began this blog I have made friends with a few people in other countries who I now consider dear friends.  Perhaps someday I might actually get to meet these friends face to face.  As a result of re-connecting with one friend and former co-worker I learned that another friend and former co-worker had retired.  This is someone I hadn't communicated with in quite a while so I texted them and congratulated them.  I was very happy to hear back from them.

My day...so far...ended with son # 1 and my granddaughter stopping by for a visit on their way home.  Their life is a frenzy right now with both working jobs, my granddaughter finishing up her junior year of high school, and both of them preparing to move from one home to another one.  Their new house will be about half the distance from my house as the old house.   

Today was what a retired person considers a busy day.  Sometimes I wonder how I lived my life when my wife and I both worked full time.  

Now I need a nap.

  

Waiting

My outdoor thermometer says that it is 80 degrees.  It certainly feels like it.  A little over a week ago we had two inches of snow in my neighborhood.  Such is life in Kentucky.

It's been sunny and warm all day.  My first impulse after having my morning coffee was to go to the park.  Before I got out of the house I remembered the Orkin guy was coming for my bi-monthly pest treatment.  A few years ago my wife saw a mouse in the house so I was given two options.  We either get Orkin service or put the house up for sale.  I went for the Orkin treatment.  I have not seen a mouse since but I am still here.  Apparently it doesn't work on all pests.  

I am still waiting for my guy to show up.  In his defense I was told he wouldn't be here until the late afternoon.  However, if I had gone to the park he would have called me while I was walking and told me he was on the way and would be here in five minutes.

I have been a little productive today with minor chores.  The microwave, downstairs bathroom, and upstairs bathtub are now clean or at least cleaner than they were yesterday.

Knowing that my Orkin guy was coming today made me feel like a hostage.  If he wasn't coming my day may have gone down exactly as it has anyway but I would have had the option to do something else if I had chosen.  Yes, I know it's a small thing but life is made up of small things, some of which make you crazy.

I am usually a very patient man and very good at waiting.  As a long time married man I have spent much of my life waiting for my wife to do whatever she is doing.  I have spent years on Mall benches or waiting in my car while she runs an errand.  Sometimes I even enjoy waiting.  I love to watch people and to turn up the volume on my music while my wife accomplishes her chores.  However, sometimes I am also very impatient and I suffer from the disease of "get out of the way and let me do it".  This is a disease very prevalent in perfectionists.  The only cure is to learn how to "let it go".  This has gotten somewhat easier as I have gotten older.  By the time you are 70 you have hopefully learned that most things are not that big of a deal.  I hate it when I get upset and start flailing.  I know how to breathe but my timing is sometimes off.  

All of our lives would be better and certainly more peaceful if we just learned to stop, breathe, and let it go.  We need to relax.  It's not always what happens to us and around us.  It's how we react to it. 

Living A Simple Life

 

When I first stopped working, retirement was a difficult transition.  After a lifetime of working full time it felt like being in a car when someone slams on the brake.  Everything seemed to come to a complete halt.  It was the middle of winter and overnight I suddenly had no where to go and nothing to do.  To make it more challenging I had all day to experience this.  However, that was then and this is now.

As I begin my fourth year of retirement I couldn't be happier.  I still have no where to go and not much to do but my attitude about this is significantly different.  Happiness in retirement is based on more than just not having to get up everyday at the crack of dawn, fight the morning commute, and deal with workday challenges.  To be honest there are aspects of working that I miss.  I miss the social interactions I used to have with co-workers and friends.  Many of my former co-workers were like family to me.  Some of them were long time employees like me and we began our careers together.  I miss the laughing and joking around and the many shared meals we had, especially on Fridays when the work week was ending and we were all ready for the weekend.  To be fair, I do not miss the work challenges like difficult people, technical problems, challenging leadership, and occasional boredom.

I know that being able to live a retired life is a gift that not everyone attains.  My long time employment with a significant company gave me the ability to prepare for retirement and to be able to live comfortably.  Trust me when I say that I am grateful every day.  Many times throughout my day I silently utter the works "Thank You" to God and the universe for giving me this gift.  

So far approximately 33% of my retirement has been spent in isolation due to the Covid-19 pandemic.  Even if I was motivated to seek a more active retirement, the pandemic would have prevented it.  The life I have sailed through in the last year is basically the kind of life I always wanted to live.  All I have ever wanted is a simple and quiet life.  I don't need to do it all or have it all.  Last week I watched the first installment of "The Hobbit" trilogy with my granddaughter.  I am basically Bilbo Baggins.  Leave me alone in my Hobbit house in the Shire with my music, books, solitude, and unlimited supply of good coffee and beer and I am content as anyone could be.  Yes, I realize that some of you are thinking how boring that sounds.  It isn't to me.  Perhaps there is a great adventure awaiting me but so far no Dwarfs or Wizards have knocked on my door.  To be honest I was never an over achiever.  Until I retired, however, I was always busy with the daily demands of living.  Admittedly, life still makes demands but not nearly as much.  Very early in my retirement a stranger at my doctor's office gave me some good advice.  He said, "Don't fill up your time.  It will fill up for you".  Even in retirement I sometimes feel busy.  Occasionally I wonder if people think I am always "on call" just because I am retired.

Cheers for the simple life!     

A New Beginning

 

I have now been retired for over three years and I also recently turned 70 years old.  During most of this time I have done very little.  Some of this I can blame on a world wide pandemic.  Fortunately my family and I have not been ill and as of this week all of us have been vaccinated.  Before the pandemic we were able to take a few vacations including a cruise to Mexico.  Most of the past year, however, has been spent at home.  As a serious introvert I have been practicing social distancing for my entire life.  With all due respect for the seriousness of the pandemic, staying home and avoiding other people has been the easiest thing I have ever done.  A bigger challenge for me will be reconnecting with the world.

Before I retired I tended to write almost daily for friends, family, and co-workers.  For the most part this blog is a collection of these writings.  At the time I was highly motivated with much on my mind that I though other people might like.  I had a lot of fans and followers.  Some of them have been wondering where I have been and what I have been doing.  I have written very little in the last three years.  My life is very simple now.  I have had virtually no contact with anyone except strangers that I encountered when I ventured out in public for groceries or other supplies.  My over active mind seemed to be on pause.  I also still have many friends who work full time and I doubted they wanted to read my daily thoughts on the joys of retirement.

Today quite out of the blue I visited this blog and realized how much I missed writing.  Perhaps my mind and spirit are experiencing an awakening on this rainy spring day.  I certainly have no excuse for not writing except laziness.  Admittedly, there is not a lot going on in my life to inspire me.  When I worked I had many experiences that often encouraged reflection.  Even my busyness and desire for the life I now have was a source of inspiration.  

I am hoping today's spark of enthusiasm is the beginning of a new phase of writing.  I make no promises but I am going to attempt to regain my discipline of writing every day.

If anyone actually reads this and wants to encourage me I would be very grateful.  70 year old retirees are not always full of enthusiasm or energy.

Stay well, breathe, and remain calm.  All will be well.