The Autumn Of Life

This past weekend was a picture perfect autumn weekend. This is my favorite time of the year and a time that matches where I am in my life.  At my age I believe I am in the autumn of my life. This does not bother me because I believe one needs to be realistic about their mortality. Autumn is a paradox in many ways. It is a time of dying but it is also a time of great beauty. At age 61 I know I have more years behind me than I do in front of me. At the same time there is much that is beautiful about this time of my life. Although my body may be ahead of the curve in terms of decline, my mind, heart, and spirit are peaking. I have no desire to be young again and to relive the struggles of growing up, raising children, and worrying all the time about making ends meet. I may be getting older but I am very comfortable in many ways. One of the obvious joys of being my age and being who I am is spending time with my granddaughter. Much of the weekend I was her playmate. Here’s some of what we did this weekend.

We had breakfast at Hardee’s on Saturday morning. A table full of old men hit on my wife. They heard her say she was cold so they offered to keep her warm. When she sat at my table she looked at me and said “I’ve still got it, Michael”.

We checked into the Hotel Transylvania at a local movie theater.

We drove around some of the neighborhoods near the park to look at Halloween decorations.

We had dinner at a local seafood restaurant on the river.  This was preceded by swinging in the playground while watching the boats go by.

We watched “A Madea Christmas”. Yes, I know it’s way too early for a Christmas movie but Tyler Perry dressed like a woman is very funny.

Sunday morning we scrambled eggs and made a fort in my room.

Sunday afternoon was spent taking Chloe home, dismantling the fort in my room, and doing a week’s worth of laundry.

Remembering Saint Francis

Today, October 4th, is the day that the Catholic Church honors the memory of St. Francis of Assisi. He is my favorite Christian holy man. He lived in the 12th century and was the founder of a religious community that became known as the Franciscans. They still exist in today’s world. My first exploration as a young Catholic boy into the religious life was with the Franciscans. I left my parent’s home in 1965 as a 14 year old boy and I went to Cincinnati to attend a seminary. I had a tough time for a lot of reasons and I left after a year. I finished high school in Louisville. It was the sixties and I soon morphed from a seminarian into a hippie. Around 1970, at the height of my original hippie experience, I felt like God was chasing me. Unable to get away I re-joined the Franciscans and headed to a Franciscan community outside of Detroit, Michigan. I was surprised to discover that some of the Franciscans were basically hippies in brown robes. This time around I stayed with the Franciscans for two years before following another voice that led me to the more austere Trappist monks at the Abbey of Gethsemani. I stayed there for about a year before I began the life I have now. It was during my second sojourn with the Franciscans that I first met my good friend, Fr. Dennis. At one time we lived in the same Franciscan community. That was over 40 years ago. Now we are much older men. He is like a big brother while also being a spiritual mentor for me. I have also recently re-connected with a nun who was my 8th grade teacher. She is one of the people who wrote me a letter of recommendation when I first attended the seminary. When I told her about my son, who will be ordained a priest in the spring of 2013, she remarked that many times when a man like me leaves the seminary or religious life, the vocation manifests itself in a child. I thought that was an interesting thought about my experience then and my son’s experience now. Tomorrow I am taking the day off to spend some time with my friend, Fr. Dennis. I’m sure we will spend some time reminiscing about our shared past as well as our current lives. Life has been quite an adventure for me.

Nothing Is Better Than A Warm Fire

“In old age nothing is better than a warm fire”
-Native American saying

Today is the day when the local Buddhist community has its weekly meditation session. Once I discovered these sessions I attended for several weeks. Then it got dark and I haven’t been since. I will admit that I am a homebody. When I leave the office I can’t get home fast enough. Once I am there it is very difficult for me to go back out, especially when it is dark or it’s a cold winter night. I understand the Native American quote at the beginning of these thoughts. The warm fire of home is very enticing. Along with my homebody tendencies I am also a hermit type. I am fortunate to have my own “man cave” where my severely introverted personality can retreat and re-charge. I believe my introversion is the result of growing up in a large family and a small house. As a child and teenager the only way I could be alone was to be within myself. Admittedly, I would like to continue attending the Buddhist meditations. They support my desire for Buddhahood, enlightenment, and contemplative union with a deeper reality than everyday life appears to be on the surface. Tonight, after I get home, I will attempt to not sit down in my favorite chair. I will try to keep moving and, hopefully, some of that movement will be out my front door, into my car, and down the road to the Buddhist temple. As they say, “the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”. The Buddhist temple is really only a few miles from my home but it seems a thousand miles from my couch,

The Work Enviroment

An increased sense of personal well-being at work, in real and practical ways, contributes to a positive and enjoyable work environment. A pleasant environment filled with happy associates, coupled with feelings of team accomplishment and personal fulfillment, can contribute as much as anything to increased productivity, greater efficiency, and decreased absenteeism. All of these things working together will affect the bottom line by contributing in positive ways to overall cost savings. It is not enough to only look at process improvements and best practices. The impact of environment cannot be underestimated. I believe creating such an environment begins with the leaders. How do you do it? It begins with honesty, truth, caring, and transparency. This is stuff you can’t fake. If you try to do so your associates will see right through it. We’ve got to do it and be real about it. In order to be real we must be authentic. Lance Secretan in his book One…The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership actually suggests that leaders should love their people. It probably would be helpful if they also loved one another. In addition, it’s not enough for the leaders to care about their people. The “people” need to care about their leaders. We can’t treat one another like we are enemies. The people who do the work and the people who manage the work are in a partnership. It should not be an adversarial relationship. This is where I would add trust to the mix. I know that some of you probably think any talk about love and feelings is inappropriate in the workplace. Some think we are here to get a job done, not love one another. I’m not suggesting a phony and shallow pretending to care about one another. I am suggesting the real deal. Work is part of life and the caring that many of you show for family, friends, and causes dear to your heart should be expanded to include the work place. What would the workplace be like if most people actually liked, or even loved, coming to work? What would the workplace look like if we tried to outdo one another in kindness? What would the workplace look like if there was more cooperation and less competition? What would it be like to ride the elevators and hear more laughter and less complaining? What I am suggesting, and what Lance Secretan writes about, is a oneness and unity that will heal the separateness that too often exists.

“You may say that I’m a dreamer but I’m not the only one”.
-John Lennon in the song Imagine.

Encounters With God

I woke up about 3:00 AM this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. I think I finally dozed off about 15 minutes before the alarm clock went off at 6:00 AM. Back in my monastery days we used to get up at 3:00 AM intentionally and then I also did it on a regular basis when my children were babies. However, it is not something I choose to do now. When it happens I usually lay in bed and think. Often I think about all the people in my life and especially about those who are going through any difficulty. More often than not I will say a prayer for them. Sometimes I think God wakes me up in the middle of the night just to get my attention. In the busyness of daytime that doesn’t always happen despite my efforts to be awake and aware of the spiritual vibes going on around me. In the monastery these pre-dawn hours are the best time of day. When I go on a retreat at the monastery I revert to my novice monk days and I live the monastic schedule. Maybe when I am a really old man, and my working days are behind me, I will once again get up in the night when God wakes me up. Now I too often just look at the clock and mentally calculate how much sleep I am missing. Today I will most likely be in a daze as soon as my morning caffeine begins to wear off. This evening when my work day is over I will certainly need a nap. Hopefully the nap will not only catch me up with the sleep I lost last night, it will prepare me for another possible encounter with God in the middle of tonight.

Helping Strangers

Earlier this week, as I was leaving a restaurant, a stranger approached me asking for some financial assistance. He was not a homeless person. He said he was from out of town and had to use all of his money for an unexpected car repair. I don’t know if that was the truth or not. I don’t know if he was truly in need or just a very good actor. Generally, I don’t even care. My attitude towards most homeless people or others who approach me is that I will help them in good faith if I am able to do so. If they are taking advantage of me, then they have to live with it. If I have cash on me I usually respond favorably to such requests. Like many people, however, I use my debit card almost exclusively. As a result I rarely have any cash. I felt badly but I explained to the man that I didn’t have any cash. He looked forlorn and I was sorry I couldn’t help him, especially since I had just filled my belly at a nice restaurant. Later in the evening, when I finally got home, I realized that I actually had a rare five dollar bill in my wallet that I had completely forgotten about. If I had been aware of it earlier in the day I would have given it to the stranger who asked my help. I’ve taken ministry workshops and social work type of classes that warn against giving money to the homeless and panhandlers. I understand that many of them are alcoholics and some even have mental illnesses. Most that I have encountered were nice and not as aggressive as some are reported to be. I am a blessed man so I tend to be a soft touch to those in need. I hope the man I was not able to help found what he needed to get home. I should probably take that five dollar bill that I have an hide it in my wallet so that I will have it the next time someone needs some assistance. Otherwise I will just spend it on a latte that I don’t really need.

Slow Down And Wake Up

Have you ever awakened in the middle of the night and felt a little anger because you were pulled from a really great dream? It’s happened to me a number of times. You try your best to fall back asleep quickly, hoping you can resume the dream where it left off. However, that rarely happens. It is virtually impossible to resume a dream or re-create a wonderful experience. Great dreams and wonderful experiences are gifts of the moment. The best ones you never see coming. I am reminded of a special morning I once had. My wife and I were the guests of some friends who have a home on Cumberland Lake. Everyone but me was sleeping in. Since I am an early riser I got out of bed as soon as there was some daylight. I got dressed, made some coffee, and headed outdoors. It was a cool, autumn morning. The surrounding landscape was beautiful with leaves at their peak fall colors. I sat in a chair on the side of a hill overlooking the lake. Mist covered the water. The only sound was occasional birdsong and the distance roar of an early morning boater. I sat there in silence and stillness with my coffee mug warming my hands. The sun slowly rose over the hill on the other side of the lake. The light shone through the trees as it slowly burned the mist off the lake. I was totally lost on the moment and felt one with God and the universe. The moment was as perfect as a moment could be. Here’s where it gets tricky. I could never have planned such a moment. Such moments appear without warning and you simply have to be awake and aware enough to be present to them. If I had attempted to replicate this moment the following morning, it would not have been the same. So, slow down and wake up. Life is full of such moments but most of us miss them most of the time. We are too busy being in a hurry to do others things. We often miss the best moments of our lives.