Living A Simple Life

 

When I first stopped working, retirement was a difficult transition.  After a lifetime of working full time it felt like being in a car when someone slams on the brake.  Everything seemed to come to a complete halt.  It was the middle of winter and overnight I suddenly had no where to go and nothing to do.  To make it more challenging I had all day to experience this.  However, that was then and this is now.

As I begin my fourth year of retirement I couldn't be happier.  I still have no where to go and not much to do but my attitude about this is significantly different.  Happiness in retirement is based on more than just not having to get up everyday at the crack of dawn, fight the morning commute, and deal with workday challenges.  To be honest there are aspects of working that I miss.  I miss the social interactions I used to have with co-workers and friends.  Many of my former co-workers were like family to me.  Some of them were long time employees like me and we began our careers together.  I miss the laughing and joking around and the many shared meals we had, especially on Fridays when the work week was ending and we were all ready for the weekend.  To be fair, I do not miss the work challenges like difficult people, technical problems, challenging leadership, and occasional boredom.

I know that being able to live a retired life is a gift that not everyone attains.  My long time employment with a significant company gave me the ability to prepare for retirement and to be able to live comfortably.  Trust me when I say that I am grateful every day.  Many times throughout my day I silently utter the works "Thank You" to God and the universe for giving me this gift.  

So far approximately 33% of my retirement has been spent in isolation due to the Covid-19 pandemic.  Even if I was motivated to seek a more active retirement, the pandemic would have prevented it.  The life I have sailed through in the last year is basically the kind of life I always wanted to live.  All I have ever wanted is a simple and quiet life.  I don't need to do it all or have it all.  Last week I watched the first installment of "The Hobbit" trilogy with my granddaughter.  I am basically Bilbo Baggins.  Leave me alone in my Hobbit house in the Shire with my music, books, solitude, and unlimited supply of good coffee and beer and I am content as anyone could be.  Yes, I realize that some of you are thinking how boring that sounds.  It isn't to me.  Perhaps there is a great adventure awaiting me but so far no Dwarfs or Wizards have knocked on my door.  To be honest I was never an over achiever.  Until I retired, however, I was always busy with the daily demands of living.  Admittedly, life still makes demands but not nearly as much.  Very early in my retirement a stranger at my doctor's office gave me some good advice.  He said, "Don't fill up your time.  It will fill up for you".  Even in retirement I sometimes feel busy.  Occasionally I wonder if people think I am always "on call" just because I am retired.

Cheers for the simple life!     

A New Beginning

 

I have now been retired for over three years and I also recently turned 70 years old.  During most of this time I have done very little.  Some of this I can blame on a world wide pandemic.  Fortunately my family and I have not been ill and as of this week all of us have been vaccinated.  Before the pandemic we were able to take a few vacations including a cruise to Mexico.  Most of the past year, however, has been spent at home.  As a serious introvert I have been practicing social distancing for my entire life.  With all due respect for the seriousness of the pandemic, staying home and avoiding other people has been the easiest thing I have ever done.  A bigger challenge for me will be reconnecting with the world.

Before I retired I tended to write almost daily for friends, family, and co-workers.  For the most part this blog is a collection of these writings.  At the time I was highly motivated with much on my mind that I though other people might like.  I had a lot of fans and followers.  Some of them have been wondering where I have been and what I have been doing.  I have written very little in the last three years.  My life is very simple now.  I have had virtually no contact with anyone except strangers that I encountered when I ventured out in public for groceries or other supplies.  My over active mind seemed to be on pause.  I also still have many friends who work full time and I doubted they wanted to read my daily thoughts on the joys of retirement.

Today quite out of the blue I visited this blog and realized how much I missed writing.  Perhaps my mind and spirit are experiencing an awakening on this rainy spring day.  I certainly have no excuse for not writing except laziness.  Admittedly, there is not a lot going on in my life to inspire me.  When I worked I had many experiences that often encouraged reflection.  Even my busyness and desire for the life I now have was a source of inspiration.  

I am hoping today's spark of enthusiasm is the beginning of a new phase of writing.  I make no promises but I am going to attempt to regain my discipline of writing every day.

If anyone actually reads this and wants to encourage me I would be very grateful.  70 year old retirees are not always full of enthusiasm or energy.

Stay well, breathe, and remain calm.  All will be well.

   

   

  

  

In The Court Of The Crimson King

This past Friday I went to Nashville, Tennessee to see the band King Crimson perform at the famous Ryman Auditorium.  The band is currently on a world tour for the 50th anniversary of their first album which was released in 1969 and they are one of my all-time favorite bands.  I was accompanied on the trip by my long time friend and rock and roll partner in crime, Tom Conley.  We first met when fooling around in 6th period study hall in 1967.  We have been in and out of trouble ever since.

We had a leisurely drive to Nashville which is approximately a three hour drive from where I live.  It was great to have time for some conversation and rock and roll as we drove through the countryside.  I use the term "countryside" because some sort of road issue caused my GPS to route us off the main interstate highway and down country roads where I have no memory of ever being before.

After checking into our hotel we eventually found our way to downtown Nashville.  Let me tell you this.  Downtown Nashville on a Friday night is a wild place.  There are honkytonk bars everywhere, a professional league football stadium, and a large arena.  The Ryman Auditorium is in the heart of it all.  It was originally built as a church and for many years was the home of the Grand Old Opry.  In terms of geographic location and musical history, it may be the last place I ever expected to see a Prog Rock band like King Crimson.   

King Crimson are no ordinary rock and roll band.  Their music is complex and the members of the band are all virtuosos on their instruments.  They have three drummers who are much more than simple keepers of the beat.  They have a bass player who has toured extensively with Peter Gabriel, another one of my favorite musicians.  In addition they have two guitar players including the phenomenal Robert Fripp, and finally a woodwind and flute player.  The level of musicianship was mind blowing.  I never thought I would hear and see most of these songs performed live and with such precision and clarity.  Seeing this manifestation of King Crimson was #1 on my musical bucket list.  I was not disappointed.  It was the best concert I have seen by anyone in quite a while.  I felt like I had died and gone to Heaven.

My long hair is long gone but I still have the tee shirt!  

Here is the set list for those that might like to know what I heard.

Set One 

1. The Hell Hounds Of Krim
2. Pictures Of A City
3. Suitable Grounds For The Blues
4. Cirkus
5. Red
6. Epitaph
7. Electrik
8. Moonchild
9. Radical Action II
10. Level Five   

Set Two 

1. Cat Food
2. Frame By Frame
3. Lark's Tongue's In Aspic Part IV
4. Islands
5. Easy Money
6. Indiscipline
7. In The Court Of The Crimson King
8. Starless
9. 21st Century Schizoid Man
   

Walking In The Park

I must admit that I haven't been to the park much lately.  Although today is the official beginning of Fall, it still feels like summer in my part of the world.  Today is overcast with a forecast of rain this afternoon.  It hasn't rained in weeks and this summer we've had a record number of days when the temperature exceeded 90 degrees.  Although it is in the 70's today, it will be back in the 90's by the end of the week.

Back to walking in the park...…

I haven't walked for exercise for a few weeks.  I blame the heat, a sense that every day has some task that needs to be accomplished, and, to be completely honest, some summer time laziness on my part.  As the weather cools, and winter looms on the horizon, I will become more energetic and I expect to make it to the park on a more regular basis.

Today, in a burst of spontaneous energy, I decided to take advantage of the relatively cool morning and walk in the park before the rains came.

While walking in the park I came upon a monolith that presumably was placed in the park thousands of years ago by space traveling aliens.

There is an obscure scripture passage that goes "God made man and rested.  God made woman and no one has rested since".  When I got home from my walk my wife immediately asked me to get some holiday decorations out of our storage shed.  This shed is a Pandora's Box of every Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter decoration that my wife has ever bought.  I hate the shed because it is stuffed to the rafters and you can't get anything out without taking everything out or so it seems.  Today, however, I decided to breathe and practice my Zen.  I groused a little but for the most part I did whatever my wife asked without a meltdown on my part.  When I completed the task, she made me lunch.  Bless her.....

The first week I was retired a stranger told me to "not fill up my time because it will fill up for me".  Truer words were never spoken.  I am 100% retired and I have no official employment but many days I feel busy and occasionally overwhelmed.

I am declaring the rest of the day as a holiday.  So let it be written, so let it be done!    

Where Did The Time Go?

This past weekend I attended my 50th high school reunion.  50 years!  Where did the time go?  It was great to see so many old friends, to renew some friendships, and to remember friends no longer on the journey of life.  The actual experience of high school is a mixed bag for many people.  Some hated it and never want to think about it again.  They graduated and became dust in the wind.  Overall I had a wonderful high school experience.  The only negative was not excelling on an academic level.  I found myself and discovered my gifts much later in life.  Some of my English teachers may be surprised to realize I actually learned to write and that I am pretty good at it. I enjoyed my friendships, including the girls I loved, and all the adventures I had with my particular gang of people.  My "gang" was primarily the kids trying to be hippies.  Of course, I also had many friends who were not hippies.  Some people from high school have never stopped being my friends.  Other people were long distance friends thanks to technology.  There are even some people I know better now than I did while we were actually in high school.

Over the years I have attended my 20th, 40th, and 50th reunions.  Recently a friend remarked to me that she went to her 10th reunion for an all girl school and she hated it.  Her impression was that the old clicks from high school were still the old clicks and that people were generally as awful as she remembered them.  My experience has been quite different.  I have found that almost everyone has mellowed over the years and no one was trying to impress anyone else.  I say this as a member of a class where many people became very successful in life by worldly standards.  This past weekend I found everyone to be genuinely personable, affectionate, and happy to see one another.  My class was very large and it was impossible to know everyone well.  Obviously I know some better than others.  I was feeling a lot of love this weekend, nor only from others, but for others.

As I looked around the informal gathering on Friday night, and the more formal dinner on Saturday night, I thought about all the journeys each of the people had traveled throughout life.  My classmates and I have walked many miles and in the words of Forest Gump "we've owned lots of shoes".  We have scattered all over the country and even the world.  Whatever level of success was achieved it was not without struggle.  Life is also not fair so some have experienced more struggle than others.  A significant number of classmates have passed away.  Some of them were quite young.  Others left us more recently.  Those of us who are left are survivors of life.  None of us are without scars.  We have all experienced loss, pain, and heartache.  Hopefully, we have also experienced joy, happiness, some level of success, love, and contentment.

Life is not about success or destination.  Life is about the journey.  We have made it this far and we can laugh and smile and enjoy our memories.  The journey is not over for us yet.  As the poet Robert Frost once wrote, "There are miles to go before we sleep".  Let us go forward in love and peace and joy.  My friends, "it ain't over until it's over".  Live long and prosper!       

Thinking Of El Paso And Dayton

Earlier today I was walking at my local mall while thinking of the recent mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton.  As I walked around I noticed all the diversity of the other people as they went about their business.  It occurred to me that any of them, as well as myself, could be victims of a mass shooting.  Everyone at the mall, including me, was just a regular person living their life as best they can.  I saw people laughing and shopping and eating and drinking.  Some, like me, were just trying to get some exercise.

It also occurred to me that all of us just want to be happy and live peaceful lives.  The average person is a good person and most of us have no problem with other people even if they don't look like us.  I have never found other people threatening nor have I ever thought I was better than anyone else simply because I am white.

I am getting old and I know I have more years behind me than in front of me.  My working days are behind me as well and all I want in life now is to live a simple and uncluttered life.  I want to live each day enjoying my music, reading my books, and watching my films. I want to enjoy the sunshine, feel the wind, and enjoy the smell of good food.  If I am tired I want to enjoy a good nap.  These are all simple things that make me happy.  I believe most other people, especially if they are older, also want some version of these things for themselves.

My life has not been without struggle.  A lot of things have not gone the way I would have preferred.  There were jobs and promotions I did not get.  A few women have broken my heart.  I am not as great or gifted as I would like to be.  However, in spite of life's disappointments, I am not angry.  I really don't expect everything to go my way.  Part of life is experiencing disappointment and loss.  Life is not fair.  I am still happy and content.

Recently I read a quote from Desmond Tutu that went, "We have got to stop pulling people out of the river.  Instead, we need to go upstream and figure out why they keep falling into the river".    

Why are there so many angry people and why are so many of them young, white men?  I am an old white man now but I was once a young white man.  I never felt left behind or cheated.  I have gotten everything in life I deserve.  Most of it I have worked for and some of it was given to me through the generosity of others.  I never cheated in life and I never had any sense of entitlement.  I quickly learned that if I wanted anything in life I would have to work for it.

I have never been in competition with anyone.  I want us all to win.  I want everyone to be happy.  Why is it so difficult for some people to allow other people the same dreams?  Who doesn't want a happy and peaceful life that is relatively free of suffering?

We are all the same.  The blood that was spilled in El Paso and Dayton was all red.  Everyone who died had someone who loved them.

"All I am saying is give peace a chance"!
-John Lennon  

Practicing Mindfulness

This past Christmas I received a new Fitbit.  It is very nice and quite an upgrade from the original, very basic Fitbit I have been wearing for years.  It tells me the time, date, day of the week, the number of steps I have walked and my current heartbeat.  It has other features that I haven't fully utilized.  One of the features that I really like is the ability to set multiple alarms to alert me throughout the day.  I must assume these alarms are designed to encourage my physical activity, especially during times I am inactive.  I decided to use the alarms for a different reason.  I decided I would use the alarms as reminders to be spiritually active and mindful.  I have a meditation app that is great for timing meditation periods and another app with a random Zen gong to call me to mindfulness thoroughly out the day.  The meditation app is great for regular meditation sitting but the random Zen gong will often chime at inappropriate times and catch me off guard.  It would also sometimes startle other people who might be around me.

Monks at the Abbey of Gethsemani and other monasteries gather seven times a day to pray the Liturgy of the Hours.  This is what some people refer to as monastic chant.  As the title indicates these are hours throughout the day when the monks gather for prayer.  I decided to set the alarms on my Fitbit to correspond with the monastic Liturgy of the Hours.  Here is the schedule followed at the Abbey of Gethsemani.

Vigils 3:15 AM
Lauds 5:45 AM
Tierce 7:30 AM
Sext 12:15 PM
None 2:15 PM
Vespers 5:30 PM
Compline 7:30 PM

Every day at these times my Fitbit quietly vibrates and calls me to be mindful.  I usually say a short prayer that is used by the monks when they begin their prayers...

"O God, come to my assistance!  O Lord, make haste to help me"!

My thoughts and ideas about God are very different now from the simple faith I had as a child.  Even the existence of God is a question and mystery for me.  In spite of any doubts I have, I still pray.  At this point I am not sure it even matters whether anyone is listening or hearing my prayers.  If my prayers are just words thrown into the universe, that is enough.  It is a comfort for me to voice the concerns and longings of my heart.  In the middle of the night, assuming I am awake or awakened by the 3:15 AM vibration, I often pray for my wife and me.  We are getting old so I simply ask God to take care of us in our old age.

Overall this system has been working well for me.  Most of the time the scheduled vibrations alert me and get my attention.  Depending on the time of day and what activity I may or may not be doing, I will pause and be mindful of the moment.  Sometimes in life it is a good thing to just stop what you are doing for a moment and breathe.