Personal Vision

What is your personal vision in life? What drives and motivates you to think and do what you do? In my 60+ years of life many influences and experiences have formed me into who I am. In addition to these outside forces that have formed me, I have also tried to form myself into a certain kind of person. My personal vision for the kind of person I want to be and for the way I try to act is rooted in spirituality. I have found teachings in both western and eastern spirituality that I believe in and which I strive to incorporate into my daily life. These are basically love, kindness, and compassion. It is not always easy to practice and live these virtues. One way in which I try to re-calibrate myself each day is meditation. I generally do this in the mornings when I am more awake and alert. These meditations are not complicated. It does not involve a mental checklist of all my successes and failures. My morning meditations involve silence, stillness, focus on my breathing, and a little reading. The purpose of this time goes beyond just having a few minutes of peacefulness before I begin my day. Meditation and other spiritual practices are like physical exercise. You don’t necessarily enjoy the experience. However, the daily experience, over time, gets you into shape for the demands of daily living. The basic intent of my daily meditation is to keep me awake. When I am awake, I am aware. When I am aware, I am alert. When I am alert, I can intentionally practice love, kindness, and compassion. When I am not awake, aware, or alert, I will not always do these things. Meditation keeps my personal vision alive and on the job.

You're Perfect The Way You Are

I am a little pressed for time this morning so I am pulling something from my archives. I wrote this in the past and received a lot of favorable response. Some of you may be reading this for the first time.


Whether we realize it or not, most of us have been told our entire lives that we aren't good enough. Our life has been filled with messages telling us that we are inadequate and imperfect. Most of the messages were unintentional but real never the less. They have been from our parents, our teachers, our spouses or significant others, our children, our relatives, our friends, and our employers. We don't measure up, we disappoint, or we don't meet someone else's standards or expectations. I, too, have heard these messages my entire life. A friend recommended a book to me that I am only now reading. I would have read it sooner but, of course, I am imperfect and lazy so I am just now getting to it. As you can now see we often give ourselves these negative messages too. They don't always come from others. Our biggest critic is often ourselves. Anyway.....the name of the book is Regardless of What You Were Taught to Believe.....There is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber. It is sub-titled "Going Beyond Self-Hate, A Compassionate Process for Learning to Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are". The book begins with a list of all the messages all of us received in our early childhoods. I was amazed how many I had heard, how many I said to my own children, and how many I have said to my granddaughter who I love more than anything in the world. According to psychologists most of these messages become part of our psyche and are set in concrete before we reach age seven. I know this may all sound terribly negative but it is not meant to be. Consider it an eye opener and a wakeup call stop listening to the voices around you. Today is the day to start loving yourself. Quit trying to improve yourself. Quit thinking you're inadequate. Quit thinking you're imperfect. Quit thinking you’re not smart enough or beautiful enough. You're perfect the way you are.

Fall Days

I am not a big fan of getting out of bed in the dark, especially when my wife has taken the day off and she stays in bed. You would think she would get out of bed and cook me some bacon and eggs while I am getting ready. (smile) I am loving these fall days. As one of the local weathermen said, “It’s like someone flipped a switch and turned off summer”. We seem to have gone right into spring with little transition. This is my favorite time of year. My wife and I got up early on Saturday and picked up my granddaughter. We went out for breakfast and then we came back to my house to get the Halloween decorations out of my shed. It was a perfect day to do so. She gets so excited when this time of year arrives and we begin the process of decorating for the holidays. We usually start early because my wife is over the top when it comes to the holidays. Plus, the weekends seem to fill up quickly with things to do, places to go, and various family activities. Before you know what has happened all the leaves are off the trees and the cold winds of winter have arrived. After a day of decorating on Saturday, Chloe sat still long enough to watch a Disney movie called “Chimpanzee” before we finally went to bed. Believe it or not, going to bed was her idea. However, she got no argument from Paw Paw and Meemo.

More Thoughts On Simplicity

A friend sent me the following quote.

“It's also helpful to realize that this body that we have, this very body that's sitting here right now in this room, this very body that perhaps aches, and this mind that we have at this very moment, are exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, and fully alive."
-Pema Chodron

I also recently read the this quote.

“Simplicity, simplicity, simplicity! I say let your affairs be as two or three, and not a hundred or a thousand; instead of a million count half a dozen. In the midst of this chopping sea of civilized life, such are the clouds and storms and quicksand’s and the thousand and one items to be allowed for, that a man has to live, if he would not founder and go to the bottom and not make his port at all, by dead reckoning, and he must be a great calculator indeed who succeeds. Simplify, Simplify!”
-Henry David Thoreau from Walden

It is a great challenge to keep life simple in such complicated times. It is easier if you are a single person who doesn’t need to get the approval of others in terms of how you live your life. It is more challenging if you are married with a family or living with others, especially if they do not have the same values or desire for simplicity. Each person must decide for themselves what is essential for living and what takes their time. With my particular personality and needs, I have determined that what is essential is also minimal. I could live in one room as long as it was filled with books, music, a comfortable chair and bed, a coffee pot, a small stove to cook, and basic plumbing. As a married man with children and a granddaughter, my two story, four bedroom home doesn’t seem enough at times. I have a lot of stuff that someone will have to deal with someday. I have simplified my life in other ways. I have minimized my activities. I am not over-extended in any way. Instead of wanting more I think in terms of needing less. I say no more than I say yes. I strive to do less and be more. I spend more time looking within and less time wandering outside myself. In my mind, if not in my body, I live on Walden Pond with the attitude of Thoreau. My mantra is “less is more” and I have come to realize that “this very body that perhaps aches, and this mind that I have at this very moment, are exactly what I need to be fully human, fully awake, and fully alive."

Under The Weather

I have been out of the office for the last two days. I did something I rarely do and that is call in sick. Last weekend I had a sore throat that turned into an upper respiratory infection. This caused me to do something else I rarely do which is break down and go to the doctor. I woke up Tuesday morning feeling totally down and out. My wife got up and went to work. I stayed in bed and slept till 11:00 AM. That is another very rare occurrence. When I got up I ate a bowl of cereal and then took a nap until about 3:30 PM. Yesterday I was no better so I went to the doctor. Once I got some proper medication I began to feel better. The worst part of all of this was the coughing. No one likes to be sick. I would rather come to work than be home sick. However, I think sickness has a purpose. Sometimes a minor illness is what we need to be forced to take a break. Admittedly, I don’t usually need to be forced to take a break. Sickness reminds us that life can go on without us and the world will continue to spin. It’s a delicate balance to feel needed and to also realize that we are not needed. Although it is difficult to imagine a life without me in it, I know from many experiences that many things continue to exist and move forward without my participation. Sickness also reminds us to be grateful for good health. I have learned to live with some chronic health conditions but I am rarely sick. As I near the end of this bout of illness I have a new appreciation for feeling good.

Voluntary Simplicity

Today’s chapter in Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat Zinn was about voluntary simplicity. Most people think that voluntary simplicity is simply about having less stuff. That is certainly part of it. It is also choosing a less complicated life and learning to say no. A simple life also has a Zen element to it because one is able to be more present to their life because there is less life in which to be present. When one attempts to live a simple life one strives to avoid distractions. When you eat a bowl of cereal, you simple eat the bowl of cereal. A distracted life is when you eat a bowl of cereal and read the cereal box to see what ingredients are in the cereal, an activity you’ve probably already done more than once. The challenge of a simple life is to discern what is truly essential and what is not. Think about all the things to do each day. Many of these things are done in a mindless, not mindful way. What is truly essential in life often gets out of whack because much of what we do is not really essential. Much of what we do is the byproduct of our personal agendas which may or may not have any real meaning for us and, most certainly, others. Today I challenge you to think about how you can simplify your life. Pay attention to what you are choosing to do. Is it really essential? Does it have a meaningful purpose? Now, I understand that many of us have to do things that are created by other people’s agendas and we often to not have a choice about it. Sometimes we just have to accept this. However, as much as you can, minimize your own life by choosing to live simply, without clutter, and without unnecessary complication.

We're All In This Together

Yesterday I was involved in several conversations that reminded me that all of us have burdens, challenges, and “crosses to bear”. Today I am feeling a little out of sorts myself. I always try cut every person I meet a little slack because I never know what that person may be going through that day or in their life. You can never go wrong by being kind. This morning I was reading a chapter from “Wherever You Go, There You Are” by Jon Kabat Zinn on the idea of giving. Most of us have heard about stewardship and the idea of giving your time, talent, or treasure. Some days, however, we may feel that we have none of these to give. There are other ways to give to those around us. We can give a kind word, a smile, or a hug. Sometimes that all we have and sometimes that’s all another really needs. Life is difficult for all of us and some days are harder than others. The challenges and burdens of youth are eventually exchanged for the challenges and burdens of old age. Often by the end of a day we feel overwhelmed. I once read, however, that the problems of the evening seem much less challenging in the morning. I was reminded of this today as I drove to work and I was lost in the beauty of the morning sky. I don’t know what problems or challenges await me in coming weeks and months but I do look forward to the beauty of winter sunrises. Think about how you feel today and remember that most others feel the same or even worse. Be kind, give everyone a smile, and if a family member, friend, or co-worker needs a hug, give it to them. We are all together in this thing called life.