I Just Don't Know

One question that has often come up in the many spiritual conversations I’ve been part of over the years is “What is the experience of God”?  It’s a question that no one, even my friends in the monastery, can quite agree on.  My basic answer is that I don’t either.  However, I do have a few thoughts about it.  More and more many people wonder if there even is a God.  I don’t know that either with any certitude and I am always amazed at how offended some people get when I say that.  I’m not saying there’s no God.  I’m just saying that I don’t really know.  Isn’t not knowing why people have faith?  I think there are some experiences and feelings that we all have as human beings.  Do you ever have a sense of longing but you are not sure what you are longing for?  Do you ever feel empty or incomplete?  Are you hungry for something beyond food but you are not sure what you hunger for?  I believe these feelings, at their root, are spiritual.  We are all desiring some kind of unity or oneness with someone or something.  I do spend a fair amount of time meditating and practicing mindfulness.  Sometimes when I am being silent and still, I do experience feelings of peace.  There are also times when I experience what some people would call “warm, fuzzy feelings”.  Occasionally I feel one with the universe.  Are these feelings the experience of God?  Again, I don’t know.  They might just be pleasant feelings or my imagination.  I guess all I can really say is that I have all the feelings I mentioned above.  I don’t always know why I have them.  Something or someone seems to be always calling me forward.  Is the inner voice I hear God speaking to me or just me talking to myself?  Again, I don’t know.  I suppose someday I will find out or maybe I won’t.  There was once an Abbot at the monastery who had a standard response every time one of the monks died.  He would say, “Now he knows more theology than anyone”.        

When To Speak, When To Shut Up

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time and place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment”.

-Lady Dorothy Neville

 

I usually don’t get in too much trouble but when I do it is often because of something I said.  There are other times when the events around me challenge me to speak up and I remain silent.  More than once my wife has advised me to shut up.  I can’t actually quote her word for word but most of you can imagine how she said it.  Other times I have been chastised by people who said things like “Michael, I expected you to have more to say”.  In my defense I think I have gotten a little wiser as I have gotten older.  The end of my tongue is now square from all the times I’ve bitten it off to keep myself from speaking.  Knowing when to speak and when to shut up is a delicate skill.  There are times that we should speak.  We may need to give solace to another person with a kind and consoling word.  We may need to speak up against an injustice or to provide counsel to someone.  On the other hand, words can be hurtful or inappropriate.  Listening is almost always better than speaking and the whole world doesn’t need to hear our opinions about everything.  You know what they say about opinions.  One of the older monks at the monastery where I lived as a young man once said, “I’m come to the realization that almost nothing is any of my business”.  Another danger of speaking is falling into the dangerous quagmire of gossip.  Few of us have not fallen into that trap at least once.  I wish I had the discipline to only speak when my words made the world a better place or they gave another person encouragement or comfort.  I wish my mouth will automatically shut when my words spread gossip, hurt another person, or did not improve on silence.  The next time you speak ask yourself if you words are building up the world around you or if they are tearing it down.     

Living By The Minute

Last Wednesday I left work in great anticipation of an extended four day weekend.  Now, in what seems like the blink of an eye, I am back at work in my familiar routines.  Where did the last four days go?  They were good days.  I spent time with my granddaughter, visited my son, and also had some quality leisure time.  I take leisure very seriously.  The movement of time is mostly a perception.  All days have twenty four hours.  Some days, however, seems to move faster while other days seems to move slower.  There is a song by Pete Townshend with a lyric that goes “I love every minute of the day”.  In all honesty I don’t always love every minute of the day.  There are some days and some minutes I truly love while other days and minutes I simply endure.  I do think it is a worthy goal to attempt to love every minute of the day.  Our minutes turn into hours, our hours turn into days, the days turn into weeks and the weeks become years.  When we are not paying attention we suddenly find ourselves ten years down the road of life with little memory of how the time was spent.  If time is too slow and you are bored, it may be time to get up and do something.  If time is too fast you can slow it down by being truly present to the moment.  Time is a gift.  We are not given an unlimited supply.  Much of my current thinking is based on the reality that I have more days behind me than I do in front of me.  I am also haunted by the sudden and unexpected death of a dear friend last year.  Each day time becomes more precious and I try not to waste it.  Wasted time is lost forever.  Pay attention to the minutes of your life and you pay attention to all of your life.  How you live the minutes is how you live your days.  Live well, minute by minute, and when look back you will see an entire life that was lived well.     

Mindful Eating

When was the last time you practiced mindfulness while eating?  Recent news articles lamented the loss of the “lunch hour” for many of today’s worker’s.  Everyone thinks they are too busy to eat.  I think among some management people the need for a break or lunch is seen as a sign of weakness or lack of dedication.  Baloney!  I don’t care who you are or what you do, your life would be better served by taking occasional breaks along with a mindful lunch where you actually taste you food and enjoy the experience.  I am not talking about a rushed trip through the McDonald’s Drive Thru and a quick consumption of your Chicken McNuggets as you drive back to the office.  I am talking about taking the time to be totally present to yourself and your food.  I am talking about a relaxed and mindful time where you can be one with your meal.  You can smell it’s aroma, feel it’s texture, and taste it’s flavors in an unhurried and relaxing manner.  Today I challenge you to pay attention to whatever you eat.  Think about what you are eating.  Where did it come from?  If you are eating a piece of fruit think about the farmer who grew it.  Say a blessing for the person who picked it.  Remember the truck driver who delivered it to your local market.  Remember that many people worked so that you can have this food.  Most of all, be thankful and grateful that you have something to eat.  Many people in this world will not eat today.

Changing Landscape

In my city they are building two new bridges between Kentucky and Indiana.   Along with thousands of other people I am affected by the massive construction going on in the downtown area.  The entire landscape is changing to the point where once familiar roads seem totally new and foreign to me.  As I was driving into work this week all of this made me reflect on the constantly changing landscape of our lives.  The world into which I was born in the early 1950’s no longer exists.  I have lived through a great deal of change in my life involving the world at large, our American culture, my lifestyle, and the continuous evolution of the workplace.  The first ten years I worked at Humana there was no such thing as the internet or Microsoft.  I think Freud was correct in his assessment that life is based on the survival of the fittest.  Anyone who cannot change and adapt gets left behind.  Life is never static.  Life involves continuous change and movement.  If you do not willingly move with life, life will move you anyway.  Although I am not really what I consider a go with the flow guy, I have learned to move with the ebb and flow of life.  The trick is being centered within yourself and finding balance.  One must flow with life without being tossed about like an empty bottle in the middle of the ocean.  The world and life is always changing and it will continue to do so.  You need to move and flow and adapt with it.  I am occasionally nostalgic for my past and sometimes I dream of an ideal future but I also know all I have is the present moment and it is changing as I write these words.  Soon the changing landscape of the downtown area will become the new normal, at least until it changes again.  Now that I think about it I remember when everything was in flux back in the 60’s when they build the interchanges between I-71, I-65, and I-64, which many of us affectionately refer to as “Spaghetti Junction”. 

Enclosure

Most monasteries have something called an enclosure.  In some cases this is an actual wall that separates the monastery from everything outside the monastery.  At least in the past, when a man or a woman entered a monastery, the attitude was that they were leaving the world behind.  In a sense, the wall, or enclosure, was a metaphorical and physical way to be separated from the world.  In today’s highly technical world this has become much more challenging.  Yes, there are now computers in the monastery.  We can all have some version of an enclosure in our lives.  We can decide, most of the time, who and what we allow to enter our personal enclosures.  For example, I struggle on a regular basis whether or not I should watch the news, especially the local news.  It seems to be totally filled with negative stories about murders, robberies, serial killers, scams, or many other real and imaginary dangers to our lives.  I find it all quite depressing.  I want to be informed but I don’t want to allow all that negative energy into my life.  Imagine that your five senses, especially your sight and your hearing are like open windows to your home.  Do you want everything to have access to your home?  Do you want everything to be able to just fly in whenever it wants?  Probably not.  That’s why most people have screens on their windows.  You want the fresh air but you want to screen out the insects and other things that the wind might carry in.  So, make sure your screens are in good condition.  Build yourself a personal enclosure wall to keep out those people and things that bring you down.        

Reducing Anxiety

Breathing in, I calm my body.

Breathing out, I smile.

Dwelling in the present moment,

I know this is a wonderful moment!

 

These words are from a book I once read called Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh who is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk.  The book is about practicing mindfulness in everyday life.  One passage I read was about how we all think too much.  For most of us our minds have a never ending tape loop that plays over and over.  Much of what we think about is not worth the time and a great number of our thoughts are negative.  By focusing on our breath, we can reduce the amount of time wasted on unnecessary and potentially negative thinking.  Realistically, we cannot stop all thinking.  Many of life’s daily tasks require some level of intellectual activity.  However, I give you this challenge.  Today, when you are not involved in a task that requires you to think, don’t think.  Between your tasks that require thinking, focus on your breath and enjoy the stillness that it will bring.  If you choose to have a cup of coffee or tea during these moments, smell the aroma of the coffee or tea, pay attention to the taste of your coffee or tea, and finally, enjoy it in a very mindful way.  For those few moments let your attention be on your breathing and the experience of your drink.  Such intentional focus is what mindfulness is all about.

 

Focusing on your breath can also help with anxiety.  On my recent vacation I had to fly one leg of my trip on standby.  At the last minute my family got the last six seats on a flight and they were scattered all over the plane.  I ended up at the back of the plane in a window seat.  This would normally give me great anxiety.  I thought it was a good time to practice what I preach.  I sat in my seat, closed my eyes, and began focusing on my breath.  The flight lasted about an hour and I did not feel any anxiety.  Eventually I got into a conversation with the lady sitting next to me.  We talked about mindfulness and I told her I had been practicing mindfulness on the flight.  She replied, “I could tell you were meditating”.  The only anxiety I experienced on my trip was when I had to be with my entire family, especially during meals. (smile)