Saturday, October 24, 2009

Sometimes All A Person Needs Is A Little Perspective

A friend and co-worker recently loaned me a book titled "The Noticer" by Andy Andrews. I have been reading it over the weekend and enjoying it very much. Although I am by nature a very introspective person, even I do not always have perspective about my own life. This book has given me much to think about and I have more than half the book to go. Here's a few highlights so far.

Four Ways of Showing and Needing Love
  1. Spoken Words of Approval
  2. Favors and Deeds
  3. Physical Contact
  4. Quality Time
The book goes on to say that the way we show love is usually the way we need love expressed to us in order for us to feel loved. If love in your life is expressed in every way but the way you need it, the chances are that you will not feel loved. If all you do to show love is favors and deeds for someone who needs physical contact, your overtures of love are not likely hitting home. If all you do is say "I love you" but you never spend quality time with someone that craves your presence, the "I love you's" are falling on deaf ears.

The book also talks about fear and worry. Some people spend all of their time and energy worrying and being afraid. In the story one of the characters says the following. In my life I have found this to be true.
  • 40% of the things you worry about will never happen.
  • 30% of the things you worry about have already happened. It's pointless to continue worrying about them.
  • 12% of our worrying is needless imaginings about our health. Every ache and pain is not an indication of cancer.
  • 10% of our worrying is about what other people think and we have no control about what other people think.
  • 8% of our worries are for legitimate concerns and most of these can actually be dealt with. If we eliminate the unnecessary worry in our lives we can channel that energy towards the legitimate concerns of our lives.
The chapter on fear and worry ends with the recommendation that each day when we wake up we should write down all the things we are grateful for in our life. These don't have to be big things. It can be as simple as being grateful for a warm bed, morning coffee, a beautiful sunrise, or mostly green lights on the commute to work. Everyday we should practice gratitude and focus our minds on all the good things in our lives and quit worrying so much about things that we most likely never happen. It's all about perspective.

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