Our Hidden Selves

Each workday most of us come into the office. We see one another sitting in our cubicles or walking around. Maybe we occasionally talk to each other. In many cases we have formed opinions or have made a judgment about one another based on a perception. The reality is that most of us really don’t know ourselves, much less those around us. Who are we? Who is the person that sits across from you? What is going on inside that person you see walking down the aisle? Who is struggling today with a personal issue? Who is sad or lonely behind that smile or laughter? Each of us has a hidden self that we rarely show to others. We also have a true self that maybe we have not yet discovered. People are like onions. We all have many layers. Over the course of our lives we slowly peel away the layers to discover our true and hidden selves. It is a life long journey to do this. Today as you interact with your fellow human beings I urge you to remember all of this. Look in your mirror and ask yourself who is looking back at you. Remember that everyone around you is also on a journey. What you see in one another may not be reality. Some of us are struggling. A few might be seriously hurting. Hopefully some are truly happy and comfortable being who they are. Do not judge others. Practice kindness and compassion. Help one another rather than hinder one another. If today is a good day for you, spread the joy. If today is a bad day for you, hang in there. Hopefully someone around you will notice and speak a word of encouragement. We are all in this thing called life together.

Silence And Tolerance

In addition to the Dalai Lama’s message of compassion, there were two other themes in last week’s Festival of Faiths. One was silence and the other was tolerance. You cannot have a serious spiritual life without an element of silence in your life. The world and our own minds are noisy places. Silence is not just the absence of sound. In our world of over-stimulation, noise also takes the form of images, whether they be from television, billboards, or our smart phones. All together the average person is bombarded with noise in the form of sound, images, and data. It is disorienting, at times stressful, and almost always dissipating. I read once that scientists are having a very difficult time finding any place on the face of the earth that is free of human “noise”. It is important to find some physical quiet in our lives but even more important to quiet our minds. As far as tolerance, the Dalai Lama made a strong point in his talk about everyone following their own faith and beliefs while being tolerant of other’s beliefs. Christians, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Muslims, and other traditions should and can learn from one another. I see religions in the image of a wheel. The outer edges of the wheel represent all our different beliefs. It is where we are furthest apart from one another and where the most disagreements occur. The hub of the week is the deeper, contemplative center that is found in all major religions. It is where we are closest to one another. Most serious spiritual people strive to live in the center. It is where I try to live and it’s where I experience union with other spiritual seekers. I have my own beliefs but I also learn from all traditions and points of view. Practice compassion, seek silence, quiet your mind, and be tolerant of all.

Seeing The Dalai Lama

Yesterday, in the heat of the midday sun, I was standing in a line that went half way across the 2nd street bridge that links Kentucky with Indiana.  Below me was the mighty Ohio River.  Everyone in line was waiting to enter the arena where the Dalai Lama was appearing.  The theme of the Dalai Lama’s talk was “Engaging Compassion”. I must admit that standing on the bridge tested my patience. However, I tried to enjoy it and to just go with the flow. When I finally got into the arena and I found my seat, all was well. Seeing the Dalai Lama was the highlight of my week.  All of last week was good for me.  On Tuesday I picked up a friend at the airport who was here for the Festival of Faiths and who appeared with the Dalai Lama yesterday. On stage with the Dalai Lama, who is a a Buddhist, were representatives of Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Christianity, Science, and Atheism.  My friend, who was a teacher of mine, was the Christian representative. The Dalai Lama’s talk on compassion was renewing for me in my own effort to live a compassionate life. Besides being a great spiritual teacher, the Dalai Lama is a very funny guy with a wonderful sense of humor. If you were there you know what I mean. I have been around many holy people in my life. All of them had a sense of humor. I have come to believe you cannot be a truly holy and spiritual person unless you also know how to laugh. It was an afternoon well spent and I am so happy I had the opportunity.

Karma & The Law Of Attraction

Life is not happening to you.  Life is responding to you.

Some people call this idea karma and others refer to it as the Law of Attraction. People believe many things and I don’t really know which beliefs are true and which ones are false. I generally follow the advice of the Buddha when he says “Believe what you experience”. For example, it is difficult to believe in love if all you have experienced is hate. At the same time, people whose lives are full of love struggle to understanding hate and loneliness. I believe in karma and the idea that what you put out there eventually comes back to you. I have tried to be a good man and to be kind and compassionate to everyone I meet. Although my life is not perfect, and bad things have happened to me, I still believe that life has been good to me and that life has mostly responded to me in positive ways. Looking back, I even believe the difficult and bad experiences have been good for me in the long run. Since life hasn’t been handed to me on a golden platter, I have learned to be grateful for all the blessings in my life and also for all the terrible things I have not experienced. More often than not, life has given me everything I need and most of what I want. If life is not going your way, you might want to look in the mirror and check your attitude. If you are always negative, always whining, and always complaining, don’t expect a lot of blessings to come your way. On the other hand, if you are positive, grateful, kind, and compassionate, I believe life will respond to you in positive ways. The more self-aware and enlightened you become the more you will see this.

I am posting a picture of my granddaughter for no other reason than she makes me smile and she gives me joy.

Anticipation

I am the kind of person that likes to always have something to anticipate. It may be a big event like my son’s ordination or the upcoming appearance by the Dalai Lama. It can also be as simple as scheduling a day off in the middle of the work week. For months I have been looking forward to the events mentioned above as well as the visit of an old friend. These events, which seemed so far in the future several months ago, are beginning today and over the next week or so. Most of our lives are ordinary days and if you cannot find joy on a Tuesday, you probably won’t find it on a Saturday night either. I am fine with the ordinary and I almost thrive in boredom. Still, I find it nice to always have something to look forward to on my calendar. Anticipation is a great feeling. Occasionally it is better than the experience of what you were anticipating. The feeling of anticipation, the sudden arrival of the anticipated, and the realization that all events pass quickly, remind me to be in the moment. Don’t rush life. Savor it and enjoy it. Don’t get caught up rushing from one experience to another. Look forward to your life but don’t forget to enjoy it as it unfolds. Life is like the experience of taking something out of a package. Once it is out of the bag, it is almost impossible to put back into the bag in its original condition. We don’t get many opportunities to do life over. Be in the moment, enjoy the moment, and then look forward to the next moment.

My Son's Graduation

On Saturday my wife and I woke up early and drove to my son’s school for his graduation. He has been going to college for a total of eight years. Six of those years were in seminary training. In addition to the academic expectations there was a lot of other ministry related formation including summer internships. My son now has a Master of Divinity degree. In less than two weeks he will be ordained a priest and from that day forward be known as Father Nick Brown. I will still be known as Dad. At this time of year when so many young, and not so young, people graduate from school, I commend all of them. It takes a lot of hard work, discipline, and perseverance to get a college degree. The whole day on Saturday was enjoyable. It began with Mass in the Abbey church. The seminary my son attended is owned and run by Benedictine monks. The presider at the mass was the Archbishop of Nassau, Bahamas. One of his future priests is a classmate of my son. After mass we had a very nice luncheon that was followed by the actual commencement ceremony and conferring of degrees. Once the formal part of the day was completed I was forced in manual labor since my son was also moving out of his room. Fortunately one of his classmates plus my other son was available to help carry boxes and load the cars. Nick is already settling in to his new digs at St. James Parish in Elizabethtown where he will begin his priestly ministry in mid-June. I am a proud parent today although my wife is somewhat in mourning because we are once again empty nesters and she is stuck with me.

What Is Essential?

Beside the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of non-essentials.

Most of us spend much of our lives performing all kinds of tasks that we believe must be done. I’ve come to the conclusion that much of what we do is either the result of our own personal agendas or the agendas of others. Think of all the things you do. If you died today would someone else assume your tasks? If you stopped doing some of the things you do, would anyone notice? Abraham Maslow, the famous psychologist and author of the “Hierarchy of Needs” made a statement once that “80% of all work is BS”. How many of you reading this think that many of your work related tasks have no real value? The above quote, however, is not just about the non-value added tasks that too many of us perform. I think it is also about discerning, not only what is essential or non-essential, but what needs our involvement and what does not. We human beings want to control and manipulate everything to suit our needs. The damage we have inflicted on our planet is proof of this. There are way too many control freaks and micro-managers in life and not enough people of wisdom whose desire is to influence and not to manipulate. Life is not a competitive sport. We don’t have to control or beat everything. Certainly there are essential tasks of daily life that must be completed. However, much of our activity is just self-created busy work or the demands of someone’s else’s agenda. The universe knows what is essential and what is not and I’m pretty sure the universe can manage itself without our ego-centric agendas. Some things we need to do, some things we need to influence, some things we need to let be, and some things we need to simply ignore.