Be Not Afraid

The first words that John Paul II, now St. John Paul, spoke to the thousands of people gathered in St. Peter’s Square after he was elected Pope in 1978 were “Be not afraid”.  I think he was on to something.  There is too much fear in our lives.  Admittedly, some fear is a good thing.  It was fear of saber tooth tigers that kept many prehistoric men and women alive.  The one guy that tried to pet one didn’t make it.  Why are we so afraid?  The truth is that most of the things we worry ourselves to death over never happen.   Our time has been called the “Age of Anxiety”.  We are an anxious, fearful generation.  I have read that some personality types are fear based and that the majority of our population is made up of these types.  These types of personalities tend to live “in their heads”.  One author deduced that this indicates that fear is mostly in our heads.  Even for the rest of us I don’t think our brains are hard wired to comfort us.  I read somewhere that if we don’t intentionally think positive thoughts our brains automatically revert to negative thinking.  I am also of the belief that much of our fear and anxiety is caused by the media.  Because of this belief I now minimize the amount of news that I watch.  At one point the news, especially the local news, made me so anxious that I couldn’t take the trash out after dark without wondering if there was a serial killer waiting for me in my back yard.  Let me reinforce the words of St. John Paul and countless other teachers.  Do not be afraid!  Quit worrying so much!  Do things for yourself that bring calm into your life.  Relax and live.  Be happy!  Enjoy every minute of the day.      

Some Thoughts From Lao-Tzu

In thinking, keep to the simple. In conflict, be fair and generous. In governing, don't try to control. In work, do what you enjoy. In family life, be completely present. When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everybody will respect you.
- Lao-Tzu

 

This is great wisdom from an ancient Chinese philosopher.  In thinking, keep to the simple.  This is so difficult.  My weakness is to have imaginary conversations in my head and to obsess over them.  In conflict, be fair and generous.  I hate conflict and I avoid it.  It literally makes me feel sick.  When I am in control, and that is very rare, I always try to be fair.  I am not as generous as I should be or want to be.  In spite of this I try to help people whenever I can.  As a leader I am not a control freak.  Well, maybe I am a little.  I do avoid as much as possible being a micro-manager.  As far as work goes, I enjoy much of what I do and who am I doing it with.  However, I cannot tell a lie.  I don’t enjoy everything or everyone.  I have been a family man most of my adult life but it was often very difficult because of my withdrawn and solitary nature.  Raising children was challenging because they always seemed to need or want something and this forced me to come out of my cave.  My wife and I are now empty nesters and after 40 years of marriage we have achieved a nice balance of time alone and time together.  I am now reasonably content in my life and it feels good.  I don’t compare  myself to others and, to be honest, I generally don’t care what other people think of me.  I am happy with myself, I am not competing with anyone, and if I don’t meet everyone’s expectations of me, well, that’s just too bad.  I am generally happy with myself and as my father-in-law once said, “I approve of everything I do”.

A Beautiful Morning And A Quiet Day

I always sleep a little later on the weekends than I do on a workday.  Like on most weekends I slept until about 8:30 AM today.  After brushing my teeth, washing my face, and taking my daily diabetes meds, I came downstairs.  I cooked some bacon, the aroma of which would eventually waft up the stairs and awaken my wife.  When I was done, I put on some monastic chants from the Benedictine monks of Christ in the Desert monastery in New Mexico.  I read a daily thought from Thomas Keating's Daily Reader for Contemplative Living and I began my morning meditation.   Soon after I was finished my wife appeared.  We got our breakfast together, poured our coffee, and together watched CBS Sunday Morning, my favorite news show.  It might be my favorite news show because it actually has very little news on it.  Its stories are mostly about art and drama and beauty and life.  In other words it is life affirming.  99% of most newscasts depress me.  When my wife eventually went off to do her thing, I opened a window, poured more coffee into my mug, and I watched an excellent concert on DVD.  Steve Hackett, the guitar player for the band Genesis throughout the 70's, has put together an excellent band called Genesis Revisited.  They beautifully recreate classic Genesis songs in a way that 1970's era technology could not do live.  The recreations of these classic songs are exquisite and thing of beauty.  They move me deeply.  This morning the weather has been very fall like.  Until the heat of the day finally appeared there was a cool breeze coming in my window.  Although it is technically still summer in my part of the world, in my mind it is now autumn.  Now all is quiet here, except for some music in the background, so it seems a good time for a nap before I rise to cook some dinner.  I love the leisurely life.  My work career, however, is not quite over so tomorrow begins another work week.  In a couple of years my entire life will be a life of leisure.      

Falling Upward

I once read a very good book called Falling Upward…A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life by Richard Rohr.  It’s an intriguing book regardless of which half of life you are in.  I have learned from Richard, a friend and former teacher of mine, that the first half of life is about building and gathering and the second half of life is about letting go.  This “letting go” is not the same as giving up.  Richard contends that the second half of life also has purpose.  In the second half of life we discover who we really are.  The Buddhists call this “discovering the face you had before you were born”.  If the first half of life could be compared to weaving and living inside a cocoon, the second half of life is when we morph into a butterfly.  In many ways the end of life is the beginning of life.  Our entire life is a journey.  Within the journey, however, is another journey.  The outer journey may take us many places.  The inner journey will take us even further.  When we are young we build careers, make families, and collect our possessions.  When we are older, we may lose a job or begin retirement.  Our children grow up and a spouse may die.  Our possessions become too much baggage so we start to give them away.  These changes in our lives prompt us to do new things.  Hopefully, these new things open our eyes to new possibilities.  We discover that the scripts of our early lives no longer work so we write new ones.  These new scripts can be very enlightening.  The person we thought we were, good or bad, falls away and the true self begins to emerge.  We leave the cocoon of our early lives and, perhaps, for the first time we begin to fly.  

Plant The Seeds Of Kindness

There are several things that are important to me with how I live my life.   Two of them are the practice of kindness and compassion.  Kindness is basically just being nice.  Why would anyone want to be a jerk?  Amazingly, some people seem to do it on purpose.  I strive to treat every person, regardless of who or what they are, with kindness.  I also strive to always be compassionate with everyone who crosses my path.  Empathy is having the ability to feel another person’s pain but compassion is having the desire to lesson that pain.  Kindness and compassion go hand in hand.  I believe that any success I’ve had in life, whether it’s receiving good service in a restaurant, or getting something accomplished at work, is basically due to me being kind.  It seems so much easier to be kind rather than to be a jerk.  In fact, now that I think about it, the only people I really don’t like are jerks.  I don’t care if you’re male or female, black or white, gay or straight, young or old, or whatever.  None of those things matter to me.  What does matter is how you act.  I like anyone who is a kind person.  In my own life I always try to be kind to everyone that crosses my path, whether it’s the tired waitress at Waffle House who has worked a twenty hour shift, or a co-worker who needs my help.  I try to spread kindness like Johnny Appleseed spread apple seeds.  Some of you may need to Google “Johnny Appleseed.”  Plant kindness wherever you go and it will spring up wherever you are.  Today I challenge everyone who reads these thoughts to practice kindness.  Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, with everyone you encounter, be kind.  As I’ve said many times, I believe in karma.  I truly believe that what you put into the world comes back to you.  Be kind and you will receive kindness.  Be compassionate and you will receive compassion.  I assume that most people want to be good people.  I assume most people want to be happy.  I assume most people want to minimize pain and suffering in their own lives and the lives of others.  A simple way to be good and happy is to be kind.  I am not naïve about life.  I know that sometimes our kindness is not appreciated.  There are jerks in the world who will cross our paths.  Be kind but don’t be weak.  Being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat.  In the end I think kindness wins and even if it’s not always appreciated, I will continue planting its seeds.  

Life Is Full Of Manure

I always try to be honest in my writing, at least as honest as I can be without hurting anyone’s feelings.  The stories I tell are true and I believe in the things I write about.  I do try to practice what I preach.  However, the values and ideas that I write about do not come easily to me.  I struggle as much as anyone.  Some days my goals are no more lofty than just getting through the day and getting back home.  I am not always living in the Zen aura that some people imagine surrounds my being.  Some days I am tired and tired of it.  Some days I am bored.  Some days I am just trying to fill an emptiness that is real or imagined.  Thinking of this reminded me of my distant past.  When I was a very young novice monk living in a monastery one of the older monks caught me reading “The Collected Works of St. John of the Cross”.  John of the Cross was a 16^th century Spanish mystic.  The older monk looked at me and said, “Brother Dominic, you can learn more about spirituality by working in the cow barn”.  Let me tell you something about dairy cows.  They generate a lot more than milk.  I did end up working in the cow barn and I learned a lot from the experience.  Life can often feel like you are working in a cow barn all the time.  Life is full of manure.  The cow barn, however, was also full of life.  Often in life we get overwhelmed with the manure and we think that’s all there is.  Manure, however, is also fertilizer.  At the monastery we gathered the manure and spread it in the surrounding fields.  When these fields were ready to be harvested, they were a thing of beauty.  There are days when my Zen aura is replaced with the aroma of manure, but it’s all part of the cycle of life.  Life can be beautiful and meaningful even when you’re standing in manure.     

We Are All The Same

“Whether one is rich or poor, educated or illiterate, religious or nonbelieving, man or woman, black, white, or brown, we are all the same. Physically, emotionally, and mentally, we are all equal. We all share basic needs for food, shelter, safety, and love. We all aspire to happiness and we all shun suffering. Each of us has hopes, worries, fears, and dreams. Each of us wants the best for our family and loved ones. We all experience pain when we suffer loss and joy when we achieve what we seek. On this fundamental level, religion, ethnicity, culture, and language make no difference.”
-  Dalai Lama XIV, Toward a True Kinship of Faiths: How the World’s Religions Can Come Together

 

We are all just people.  It is the beginning a new work week.  Most of us are dragging.  Some of us may not feel good.  We all have some worries and problems.  I imagine that many of you sat at home last night and said, “I wish I had just one more day off.”  I know my wife and I get up most work day mornings and say, “I’m just not feeling it today.”  However, most of us are here now and the day and the week loom large on the horizon.  Let’s work together to achieve the goals we have been given.  Let’s support one another.  Let’s encouragement one another.  Let us free one another from anxiety.  Whoever and whatever we are, we are all physically, emotionally, and mentally equal.  We share many of the same needs and want many of the same things.  Let us remember this today as we work together to achieve whatever tasks and goals we have been given.