The Death Of Buddy Miles

Another musician from the Sixties generation has gone to rock and roll heaven. Buddy Miles died on Wednesday. Many of you are wondering "Who's Buddy Miles"? Buddy Miles was one of the few African Americans in the primarily white rock and roll world of the Sixties. Of course, if you know your rock and roll history, you know that rock and roll was really created by African Americans. If you don't believe me, check out Chuck Berry and Bo Diddley. Anyway, Buddy Miles first became well known as the drummer for a band he created with Michael Bloomfield called "The Electric Flag". They made their debut at the infamous Monterey Pop Festival in the summer of 1967. Michael Bloomfield was one of the premier white blues guitarists. Part of the uniqueness of the Electric Flag was that they were one of the first integrated bands in rock and roll. Another part of their uniqueness was having a horn section. Horns were relatively rare in rock and roll bands. Later, groups like Chicago and Blood, Sweat, and Tears became very famous for their horn sections. Buddy Miles most famous gig was being part of Jimi Hendrix's only all African American band called the "Band of Gypsy's". They recorded a historic live album on New Years Eve 1969 at the famous New York venue called the Fillmore East. The Fillmore East was to hippies, who were mostly white, what the Apollo was to African Americans. If I had a time machine I would want to go back in time and visit the Fillmore East as many times as I could. If I was smart, I would also check out the Apollo on a night that James Brown was playing. Buddy Miles also toured and play with other guitar luminaries like John McLaughlin and Carlos Santana. Unfortunately, he was one of the few musicians from the Sixties that I never saw perform live. RIP.

Since we are starting a new month tomorrow, it is once again time to go to the monastery for my monthly visit on Sunday. I do enjoy my visits to the monastery. I'm also having lunch with my friend, Fr. Dennis. I wasn't able to see him on my last trip so we have a lot of catching up to do. Much of my life I feel like I am always listening to other people and their tales of woe. I have a few of my own tales and Fr. Dennis listens to me. As I've said before, he's like a big brother to me and I need that.

Daily Rituals

When I woke up on Wednesday morning there was a light dusting of snow in my neighborhood. There were also some icy patches on my steps and driveway. As I walked outside to get my morning paper I almost did a triple axle with a double back flip. If I was in Olympic figure skating competition I might have scored a perfect ten. Apparently, turning left is not the only thing I cannot do well. I cannot walk left either.

These late winter days are quiet ones for me. Work is busy but not overwhelming. My evenings are free of obligation so I spend my time quietly reading or listening to music or watching movies. Most nights I also do some horizontal meditation. While my body lies still my mind travels the universe. My early mornings are equally quiet. My new coffee maker has a timer so the aroma of freshly brewed coffee greets me as I walk into my kitchen each new day. I fill my travel mug for my morning commute and then I take another cup to my wife who sits in the living room fighting the desire to go back to sleep. (Unlike me, she is NOT a morning person) I eat a simple breakfast as I glance at the morning newspaper. Afterwards I gather my lunch together before joining my wife in the living room. These last twenty minutes or so before I leave for work are some of my favorite moments in the day. I usually read a few lines from a spiritual book of some type before allowing myself to savor a few moments of silence. When I leave the house I am calm and centered and ready for the day.

The simple daily rituals I have described above are in many ways the foundation of my day. The way I do these things and the approach I have to such basic tasks are calming to me. They are basic and routine and simple. When I do them I am awake and present to the moment. These activities ground me. Most of the time my mind is with my body and not hours ahead. This allows my mind and body to arrive at my office at the same time ready to begin the work day. Nothing I do in my attempts to live a spiritual life is difficult. It's all basic stuff although it can be a challenge to always have the presence of mind to pay attention to what you are doing. I try to keep life simple by practicing mindfulness and compassion, treating other people the way I want to be treated, and constantly working on improving my driving skills. (smile)

How To Develop Patience

A friend wrote to me yesterday and asked "How can I be more patient? I am so impatient all the time"! With this revelation I am surprised she didn't want a response immediately. Her question reminds me of a prayer I once read. It went like this."O God, give me patience....and give it to me right now"! Patience is a great virtue. As with most virtues, it is also counter cultural. We are not a patient culture. We are a culture that expects instant gratification in all things. We are a culture that values speed and productivity. We want everything yesterday or before. We no longer write letters. We send emails and then are annoyed when we do not receive an immediate reply. We no longer cook real food. We microwave flash frozen items or drive through McDonald's for "fast food". We don't even take the time to get out of our cars. We don't finish one task before starting another. Problems that developed over a period of days or weeks are expected to be solved in a day. We multi task ten things at the same time and usually don't finish all of them or we do a less than quality job on most of them. We don't stop and smell the roses because most of the time we are moving so fast we walk right past them. How can we be more patient? First of all, stop the madness! Slow down! As Gandhi once said, "There's more to life than increasing it's speed". Take the time to notice the details of life. Quit doing so much and taking on so many tasks. Practice mindfulness and introduce some calming rituals into your life. ( A calming ritual is not happy hour at the local bar.) Empty your life of unnecessary demands and allow some space in your day. I have a friend that can never go to lunch because they are always too busy. Many of us have lives that are so busy and so demanding that it is nearly impossible to not be nervous wrecks as we run around from sunrise to sunset and even into the night looking at our wristwatches , cell phones, and Blackberry's every five minutes. Why do we do this to ourselves? Some of us are driven, ambitious overachievers who feel like we must be involved in everything. Sometimes I believe that people who are voluntarily overextended are on some kind of a power trip or perhaps think all the activity gives them some kind of control. They want their fingers in everything. Other types of people fill their lives up with activity so they don't have to face their own loneliness and emptiness. Their activity is an escape. It hides their pain.So what does all of this have to do with being more patient? Well, I think in order to be more patient a person needs to have some sense of contentment in their life. A patient person usually has a sense of balance and centeredness. A patient person is usually a calm person. A patient person is like an oak tree in a windstorm. A patient person is someone who responds to life appropriately and without an emotional overreaction. The landscape of their inner self resembles a placid lake rather than the rapids of a white water river. I don't see how you can develop yourself into a patient person without some calm and space in your life where you focus more on being rather than doing. This is not always easy. Some of us have hyper personalities. Admittedly, there are others who seem patient when they are just lazy. Being patient doesn't mean you are unproductive. As the Bible says, there is a time for everything. Sometimes we act. Other times we wait. We can all hope for the wisdom to know when to be assertive and when to be patient.

Crashing My Car

Today is my son's 26th birthday! Happy Birthday, Nick! It's starting to freak me out that my children are getting older. My other son will be 30 in May. However, I find it amusing that neither of them find the jokes they made about my baldness quite as funny anymore since their hair is getting a bit thin on top!

After I had my car crash on Friday night I had flashbacks about it all weekend. I kept thinking about the one second or less of time that existed between when I realized what was going to happen and when it actually occurred. The worst case scenario was that someone, possibly me, could have been killed. When I regained my composure, and after I realized everyone involved was OK, I found myself overwhelmed with thoughts of what could have happened. Earlier in the evening on Friday my wife and I met my son and Chloe for a casual, Friday night dinner. Chloe begged to go home with me but I told her she couldn't because "Pa Paw had to get up real early to go see Uncle Nick". My wife wanted to take Nick the kind of care package college kids away from home love to receive. I dropped her off at Kroger and then proceeded to a Thornton's to gas up the car so I wouldn't have to deal with it the next morning. I thought about stopping at the Speedway but it was packed and every gas pump was taken so I headed for the nearby Thornton's. I needed to turn left against three lanes of traffic. I was in a turning lane. Two of the lanes stopped to let me cross. The third lane appeared empty. I started to cross and the next thing I knew there was a terrible crunching sound and my car was knocked about ten feet. If you've ever been in an automobile accident, you know how surreal the experience can be. When I had been in a much more serious accident in 1995 I thought I was in a dream even after I regained consciousness. So, once again life has reminded me of precious it is and how fragile it can be. I thought I knew that but I suppose we can all be a little complacent about it and take it for granted. The irony is that I just recently read a story about an old man and his grandson. The boy asked "Grandpa, how do you get to be as old as you"? The Grandpa said, "Never turn left". After Friday night my wife and sons have limited me to left turns only at traffic lights that have a left turn arrow.

Finding Meaning In Life

Last week I received the following response to one of my daily thoughts.

I used to have to "find meaning" in everything when I was running away from a painful reality that I couldn't or wouldn't deal with. In other words, by staying in a painful reality I lost sight of my own integrity. (Integrity means the reason that something was created i.e. its proper use.) I lost sight of the "ordinary" meaning of everything and sought to exaggerate it because I lost the meaning of my own existence. Once I faced the pain of my reality head on and I learned to live in my own integrity I never again felt a need to distort the integrity of "everything" by "needing to find meaning" but rather I saw things the way the really were and in doing so humbly accepted God.

This comment was in response to a statement I made about my need to find meaning in everything. I think my friend's response is very powerful. If I understand her correctly, she is saying that if we are living the lives we are meant to live, we wouldn't have to search for meaning in them. The meaning should be obvious. I think she makes a lot of sense. If our lives or our work seem meaningless, what does that say about our lives or what we do? I think the idea of finding meaning in our lives and work is very much tied up with whether or not we experience joy in our lives and work. Without meaning there is probably no joy. Without joy, can there be any meaning? Are you happy in your relationships? Which ones are working for you and which ones are not? Do you feel a sense of purpose and fulfillment in what you do? Why or why not? If there is joy in your life, where is it? Where is it not? What is that telling you? These are tough questions and the answers can be a real wake up call. Depending on the answers, what action is required of you?

I didn't make it to Parent's Day at the seminary on Saturday. Why? Well, I was in an automobile accident on Friday night. I did something stupid and another driver plowed into me. Fortunately no one was seriously hurt although a young boy got the scare of his life and his mother was very angry at me. My car is probably going to be OK but it's can't be driven at the moment. I'm very grateful that it wasn't worse than it was. I am also very grateful I was alone since it was the passenger side of my car that was hit. I am extremely grateful that Chloe wasn't with me. Less than an hour before the accident I was having dinner with Chloe and her father.

After the events of Friday night, it was nice to have Chloe over on Saturday night. I woke up Sunday with her poking me in the nose. We got up and went downstairs. She helped me make coffee, we ate some Honey Nut Cheerios and discussed why the bee on the package was wearing shoes and then we went into the living room where we watched some "Clifford, the Big Red Dog" cartoons.

The Weather Gives Me An Afternoon Off

Yesterday started out to be a normal and ordinary workday. I knew there may be some bad weather later in the day. I did not expect, however, for my office to close at midday. An ice storm was coming and local employers rightly decided to let workers out of the city before it hit. A few weeks ago a snow, sleet, and freezing rain storm hit during the evening rush hour. No one got off early that day so the end of the work day commute created total gridlock for everyone as they went home. When the email came out yesterday telling everyone to go home, the enthusiasm level in my office went off the chart. People were flying out the door. I was one of them. My wife's office also closed early so I called her as I was walking to the parking garage. Soon enough we were on our way home. I took a slightly different route and I was quickly out of the city. The weather wasn't too bad yet so we stopped off for lunch at a Mexican restaurant near where we live. It felt like a gift from God to have this unplanned time off. After lunch I quickly went home, looking forward to a quiet afternoon, safe in my home. As much as I wanted to enjoy the time, I soon found myself sound asleep in my chair. I was warm and cozy. It was not how I thought my Thursday afternoon would be spent. I love the surprise of unexpected time away from work. I think most of my co-workers would agree that working is not really that bad but not working is a whole lot better.

Now it is Friday and another work week has passed. I haven't seen my granddaughter, Chloe, in a couple of weeks so I hope to have dinner with her and her parents tonight. I can hardly wait to see her. Afterwards it will be a quiet night. I will need to get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow I must get up very early so I can be at my son's college in Indianapolis at 9:00 AM for Parent's Day.

I have been feeling really brain dead lately and having some "writer's block". For a very long time it has been rather easy for me to sit down at my computer and spontaneously write some daily thoughts. Lately, I feel like I sit down, stare at the blank screen, and my brain launches into space. As Jeff Forbst always says to the losing team at the end of every Survivor challenge, "I got nothing for you"! I know some of you like hearing about my life which is a complete surprise to me since I feel much of my life is doing the same things that most of you are doing. The few things of interest that I do, i.e., going to the monastery or the occasional rock and roll adventure, I feel like I do over and over to the point that I no longer know how to make them interesting to anyone but me. I know that others still enjoy the Chloe stories. Recently I received a touching email where someone wished I was their child's Pa Paw. For those of you who like my attempts at daily thoughts, I will keep trying to write things of interest or inspiration. Perhaps the upcoming spring will not only renew nature but my writing as well.

Finally....a couple of news items from the last week. Here's a sobering thought for fellow members of the 60's generation. Yoko Ono, wife of slain Beatle John Lennon, turned 75 years old this week.

Louisville, Kentucky, my hometown, was identified as one of the top five underrated cites in the United States as a place to live. I have lived here most of my life and it is a great place to live.

Bela Fleck And Chick Corea

I went to see Bela Fleck and Chick Corea on Monday night. It has been a few months since I've seen some live music so I was ready for a night out. The show was in a small theater and appeared to be sold out. Our seats were in the balcony but we had a nice view of the stage. My seat was fourth from the end so I had a brief moment of claustrophobia accompanied with a hot flash. It always seems to me that seating for public events, whether in the intimacy of a small theater or the open air of a large stadium, was designed for children. I am not a large person but I still feel cramped almost everywhere I go. As I settled in and got relaxed the music started. This was a two man show with no back up band. Although known as jazz artists, the music was closer to classical music rather than traditional jazz. The first song was slow and I wasn't getting into it. I thought to myself, "This is going to be a long night". Soon, however, the intricate interplay between Bela on banjo and Chick on his grand piano began to become mesmerizing. I closed my eyes and often became lost in it. This was serious music and a different cup of tea from the playful and occasionally rowdy rock and roll that I usually go see. This was more like a recital than a concert. Though not always exciting I knew I was witnessing two world class musicians whose resumes were very long and impressive. Chick Corea, besides his own work, was also a major contributor to some of my favorite Miles Davis albums. All in all it was a good night. I enjoyed the music as well as the conversations I had with my long time friend, Tom. We've gone from being two teenage friends to two old men who need to get up from our seats once and awhile to keep from getting too stiff.

My wife thinks she saw a mouse in our house last night. I thought we were going to have to check into a hotel. She is terrified of mice and was not amused when I asked if the mouse was wearing a little suit and had spectacles on the end of it's nose or was it driving a small convertible. I will have to find the mouse or sell the house. I am the mouse's best hope for a continued life. My wife believes in the death penalty for all rodents.