Some Thoughts On Morale

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

-from my employers social media site

 

When I first read this quote it made me chuckle to myself.  Then I realized that some people believe or have experienced this as an actual approach to bad morale.  What is bad morale?  Many times over the years I have had people come to me and say “Morale is really down”.  I tend to take such statements with a grain of salt.  Morale is in the eye of the beholder.  In every department that I have ever been in there have been people who think everything is wonderful and others who think everything is terrible.  Usually this is the result of different expectations that people have of the workplace.  In general, I have come to the conclusion that many people expect way too much from the workplace.  If work was always fun, it would be called play.  Good or bad morale boils down to attitude, cooperation, how well people work together, and how they are treated.  I strive to start off every day with a positive attitude.  Admittedly there are days where my positive attitude takes quite a beating.  Assuming I can maintain a positive attitude most of the time I strive to be cooperative with my leaders, my peers, and my team.  I don’t always agree with them, I compromise when necessary, and I try not to have unrealistic expectations of them.  We are all people trying to do the best we can and some days are better than other days.  How well we work together has a lot to do with how much we respect one another.  It’s a balancing act.  Leaders must have integrity and respect for those who follow them.  Those who follow should strive to trust their leaders and cooperate with their direction.  Whether one is a leader or a follower, there must be trust, openness, and transparency.  When these things exist, morale is good.  When attitudes on both sides are negative, when cooperation is replaced by competition or resistance, when leaders don’t lead and followers don’t follow, morale is bad.  As cliqued as it sounds, we are all in this together.  It is only by working together in positive and life giving ways that we can accomplish our goals, be reasonably happy, and go home at the end of the day with a sense of pride for a job well done and no sense of dread about returning the next day.       

Time Waits For No One

There are many songs and quotes about time.  One of my favorites is an obscure song by the Rolling Stones called “Time Waits For No One”.  It was only a couple of months ago that we celebrated Christmas.  In a few short weeks spring will officially arrive.  I think we are all ready for that.  People are already talking about the Kentucky Derby.  Today is my youngest son’s birthday.  He is 32 years old.  In a few months he will already be a priest for a year.  My son is now older than I was when he was born.  Both of my “boys” are now men with lives of their own.  My granddaughter is growing up way too fast.  Time can seem frozen and we wish we could fast forward a day or a week.  Other times we wake up and a decade has passed.  When I started my employment with Humana I was 34 years old.  Next month I will be 63 years old and retirement looms large in my mind.  There are days I wonder where my life has gone and how I ended up where I am.  Time and life will get away from you if you are not paying attention.  Time not only waits for no one, it moves at a pretty good pace.  One of my friends who is a monk once told me that the best way for him to slow life down is to be in the moment.  Being aware and being awake to your own life will help you live it in a meaningful way and not in a blur or a daze.  We all have a finite amount of time that will be given to us.  Part of the challenge of life is that none of us knows how much time we will be given.  Spend your time well.  There are no refills.    

 

Be Who You Are

Be weird.  Be random.  Be who you are.  Because you never know who would love the person you are.

-from the “Hippie Peace Freaks” page on Facebook

 

When most people are young they will do whatever it takes to be accepted as part of a group.  Being accepted is very important to young people.  They do not want to be left out.  Most people grow out of this mentality but some maintain it their entire life.  I did this when I was young.  I wanted to have friends and to be popular.  I didn’t want to spend any Friday nights being alone.  I now realize that I am not really a group guy.  It is no longer important for me to be accepted by most other people.  Yes, I like to have friendships and to know people with whom I have something in common but a desire for popularity and acceptance is no longer a driving force in my life.  Some people think I am weird.  Some people think I am different.  In some cases this is a compliment and in other cases people probably look at me and shake their head.  Like Popeye the sailor man, “I am who I am and that’s all that I am”.  Since I really have no other choice but to be who I am, I am happy doing so.  With me what you see is what you get.  I may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I try to be an authentic person.  I have noticed that people who like me REALLY like me and people who don’t, just don’t.  It is not mandatory to be weird but I encourage you to be real.  Be who you are unless you’re a jerk.  In that case a little self- improvement may be in order.  Assuming you’re not a jerk, don’t be someone else’s version of who they think you should be.  If you don’t know who you are, maybe it’s time for a voyage of self-discovery.  You don’t need the people who won’t accept the real you.  You may experience a few bumps and scrapes along the way but “to thy own self be true” as the character Polonius says in William Shakespeare’s Hamlet.  The world is full of fake people, posers, and charlatans.  Be real even if you aren’t perfect.  Being real doesn’t demand that you be perfect.  We are all works in progress.  .    

Are You Growing Younger?

I learned that one can never go back, that one should not ever try to go back, and that the essence of life is to go forward.  Life is really a one way street.

-Writer Agatha Christie

 

Did you ever see the movie called “The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons”?  It starred Brad Pitt as a man who was born old and who got younger the longer he lived.  I won’t tell you how it ends but I will tell you that growing younger as everyone around you grows older is not as great as it sounds.  In real life there is also a curious thing that happens.  As we grow older and our body’s age, we often grow younger in spirit.  Have you ever been around a really old person who has a twinkle in their eye, a smile on their face, and laughter in their heart?  I hope to grow into such a person.  They aren’t childish in an immature way.  They are childlike in a positive way with their zest for life, their sense of wonder, and they’re openness to the never ending awesomeness of life.  While such people may be dealing with the pain and discomfort of an aging body, their spirit is indomitable.  They are a joy to be around.  Life may be a one way street in the sense that we cannot remain youthful in body or in our thinking.  Of course, there are those who do remain immature their entire life and that is sad.  The one way street of life should lead us forward to a point where we have been transformed into the best version of ourselves.  The transformational process of life, whether it be a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly or a young person growing into a really great old person, is really the whole point of life and certainly the point of the spiritual side of our lives.  If going forward and transforming is not the point of life, what are we here for?  My hair and beard are turning white.  My wife has told me before that I am starting to look like Moses after he saw God on the mountaintop.  If you saw the “Ten Commandments” movie with Charlton Heston, you might know what I am talking about.  Moses was practically glowing.  By the time I leave this world I want to be glowing too.  For now, however, my granddaughter wants me to look like the Dad on “Duck Dynasty”.    

What Is It You Really Want?

Nothing except possibly love and death are of importance, and even the importance of death is somewhat ephemeral, as no one has yet faxed back a reliable report.

-Naturalist /Writer Gerald Durrell

 

I once received an email from a friend telling me about a Zen retreat he had made.  When he arrived at the retreat the Zen Master asked the participants what they wanted.  He did not ask what they expected.  He asked what they wanted.  He asked a second time, “What is it you really want”?  He wasn’t referring just to the retreat.  He was also asking it in the context of their total lives.  Looking at your own life and dreams, what is it that you really want?  What is really important to you?  I think all of us want love in our life.  We want someone to love and we also want someone to love us.  If you don’t have love in your life everything else loses much of its meaning.  The common understanding of success is not a universal desire.  Most of us cannot even agree on what success is.  Is success based on the size of your paycheck or the happiness and contentment of your life?  If the answer is the latter, there are many very successful people with simple lives, minimal possessions, and average paychecks.  As most of us live our lives we often get hung up on incidentals that aren’t really important in the great scheme of life.  I’ve spent much of my work life dealing with people who are upset about something.  I’ve talked a lot of people off the ledge.  What are really grains of sand and bumps in the road are often seen as boulders and craters.  Sometimes we need to stop, breathe, and put things in perspective.  There’s not a hidden agenda behind every circumstance in life.  More often than not, life is just life.  Things happen.  A lot of the time they are good things even if we don’t recognize them as such.  Occasionally bad things happen.  They are not always fair or deserved and usually they are not part of a conspiracy that life is perpetrating against us.  Take some time to reflect on what has real value and importance in your life and focus on that.  Everyone has problems and heartache.  We all have disappointments and things that annoy us.  Most of it we need to let go.  Our energy needs to be spent on what we value and consider truly important.   

You Can't Please Everyone So Don't Try

I cannot give you the formula for success but I can give you the formula for failure which is try to please everyone.

-Editor Herbert Bayard Swope

 

Everywhere you turn there is someone who has expectations of you.  Even a robust attempt to please everyone will end up mostly in failure.  I am not sure I have ever totally pleased anyone.  I’ve tried to be a good son, good brother, good husband, good father, good employee, and good leader.  The only thing I am confident I have done really well is being a grandfather.  I also try to be a good writer since writing is the closest I have ever come to having a gift.  At this point in my life I have an attitude that many may find difficult or unacceptable.  My current attitude is that I am doing the best I can and if it’s not good enough for you, you can yada, yada, yada.  I’m sure most of you can fill in the blanks.  I believe most people, including myself, are generally doing the best they can to be all they should be.  I don’t expect perfection in myself or others.  The older I get, the more tolerant I am of human weakness.  Life is difficult, those around us often expect a lot, and our ability to deliver can vary wildly on any given day.  Abraham Lincoln once said, “You can please some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you cannot please all of the people all of the time”.  These are wise words from a wise man.  I try to put my best self out there as much as I can with the hope I will make a positive difference in the world.  Sometimes my less than best self makes an appearance and I hope that he does no harm.  My advice is to not worry about pleasing people.  I encourage you to focus on doing good.  If you do good things you will please more people than you annoy.  Actually I think annoying some people is a good thing and I occasionally I take pleasure in doing that.  

 

Finally! A Beautiful Day!

Yesterday I left work early for a doctor appointment.  It was time for my quarterly blood work and lecture from the doctor.  When I left the office and went outside it was 50 degrees and the sun was shining bright.  With the winter that we’ve had this year I had almost forgotten that such days can exist.  Although I was not in a bad mood I could literally feel my mood improve with every step.  The warm temperature and bright sunshine was invigorating.  I felt like a new man.  The man I was before yesterday’s beautiful weather was a man beaten down by the harsh reality of a very long winter.  The day got better still when my doctor told me I was doing pretty good.  Good weather and good news is always a boost to the soul.  Life is hard and often demanding.  Overcast skies, constant snow, and frigid temperatures can become depressing.  Whenever I experience a wonderful day after a string of long and ordinary days I feel a lightness of being.  Even though my wife added a trip to the grocery store after our doctor appointment I was still in a good mood when I got home.  Although I am grateful that I can go to the grocery and get whatever I want it is still one of my least favorite activities in life.  It didn’t hurt that when I got home some new “old” music was waiting for me.  I was ready to rock.  Unfortunately, after a day of many conversations, a trip to the doctor, and going to the grocery store, as soon as I sat down I was out like a light and my rocking was delayed a couple of hours.  Such is life…