Monday, March 15, 2010

The Need For Solitude

I have a need for privacy and solitude but I am not anti-social. I enjoy people and I believe people enjoy me. It is well known that I am an introvert. Much of what I have read states that our childhood is the biggest influence on the kind of person we are. My childhood was mostly great but I did grow up as part of a large family and we lived in a small home. I shared a bedroom with three brothers. It wasn't until I was almost 20 years old that I had my own private room. I think the lack of privacy in my early years is the primary reason why I value and need it so much now. In my youth the only way I could be alone was to retreat within myself. In my current home I have two rooms that are basically mine. Sometimes I struggle at work from a lack of privacy. I do not have an office. I work in a cubicle so most of the time I feel like a drone on a Borg spaceship. I have absolutely no privacy. One of the ways I deal with it is to wear headphones all day. Part of the reason I do that is because I love music and I am allowed to listen to it while working at my desk. Another reason is that it gives me a sense of privacy when I can shut out everything around me. I don't think well when I am distracted by activity around me. I think best when I am alone. Sometimes I wear my headphones even when I am not listening to music. As an introvert I spend much of my time in my own inner world, my own private space. It's best when I am physically alone but I have trained myself to be alone even in the middle of a large crowd. Solitude can be a state of mind when one cannot be physically apart from others.

No comments: