Awesome Things Volume IV

Driving through a snow covered countryside at dawn. I went to the monastery last Sunday morning. When I left home it was still dark. Along the way dawn broke and all the trees, bushes, and evergreens were still draped with last Friday night's snowfall. It was very beautiful. Once I got off the Interstate I was the only car on the road and I enjoyed my solitude and the Christmas card beauty of the countryside.

Winter sunrises. We had a beautiful sunrise earlier this week with pinkish, orange hues filling the eastern sky. I think winter sunrises are some of the most beautiful. Too often, however, I am in an autopilot daze on my way to work plus I am driving west so the sunrise is behind me. After I drop my wife at her office, however, I am going east on Market Street and often I am greeted with a beautiful morning sky.

Chinese Philosophy. In a past life I must have been Chinese. I love philosophers like Deng Ming-Dao and the collection of thoughts some call "The Tao". I have a book with daily readings. Sometimes they are like brain teasers. Today's thought is "Heaven and hell: Our subconscious". Tomorrow's thought is "Footsteps in the sand quickly washed away: The seashore mind". Sometimes when you see me in the breakroom or sitting at my desk at work and I appear to be in a daze, I am deep in thought about one of these daily sayings. Other days I am in a real daze.

On a lighter note....

There's a fast food restaurant in my city called Taco Bueno. They have these desserts that should never touch my diabetic lips. They're like an egg roll filled with cheesecake, deep fat fried, and then rolled in cinnamon sugar. They're to die for and if I keep eating them, I will.

Stuff my granddaughter says. Here's some examples.

"Pa Paw, I don't want you to use a walker like the old Pa Paw. You need to be able to pick me up and hug me".

"Pa Paw, your whole house is magic. That's why I never get sleepy when I am here".

"Pa Paw, please don't go to Heaven like the old Grandma".

"Only Pa Paw's like to get up early".

"Mommy, do you know what my favorite toy is? No, Chloe, what's your favorite toy? It's my Pa Paw".

Quotes. I love motivational or inspirational quotes. As I have mentioned before, I love books. However, I have noticed that as I get older I can't handle massive amounts of information or deep topics, as well as I used to, especially on a work night. Therefore I like the "soundbite" of a good quote. Here's one that a friend sent to me yesterday.

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind and compassionate. The second is to be kind and compassionate. The third is to be kind and compassionate".
-Henry James

Memories. My Dad died one year ago yesterday. I have missed him more than I thought I would. I am not sad, though, because I have many good memories. I read once that "memories are the cushion we sit upon in our old age". I've got a few years to go before I am as old as my Dad was...84 years....but it does sometimes seem that as you get older your memories begin to out number your dreams. I guess this is part of life's journey. The life you have today creates the memories you will have in the future. Live well and prepare a soft cushion for yourself.

I don't watch a lot of television but I do like a few shows. One of them is Survivor. The 20th season started last night with people who had been on previous seasons. They were divided into two groups called "Heroes and Villains". One of the heroes and most popular players in the game is a tie-dyed hippie guy named Rupert. I've actually met Rupert. I ran into him at a Grateful Dead concert. He was a very nice guy and I hope he wins this season's contest.

A weekend where I don't have a thousand things to do, a weekend where I have no commitments, and a weekend where I have no where I have to be. I really thought at my current age life would be much slower. It isn't. Anytime I can have a Saturday or a Sunday that is free and I can do as much or as little as I choose, it is a good day. This weekend has suddenly freed up and it is now full of nothing. Thank you, God.

Winterfest

I woke up this morning to 4-5 inches of snow and it continued to snow for several more hours after I got up. When it was all over we had a total of about six inches on the ground. It was a slow morning at work. The office seemed like a ghost town. I had no trouble getting to work once I got on the main roads. As usual, my neighborhood street wasn't plowed and looking out my window I could have been in Siberia. Pictured above is a typical scene in Kentucky today. In the afternoon I ventured outside for a walk around the park behind my office building. It was considerably colder than earlier in the morning. There was also a gusty wind that increased the wind chill. We were definitely having a winter day. This season has been a real winter with colder temperatures and more frequent snow. Most years Kentucky winters are generally mild and rarely brutal. Lots of people hate winter and long for spring and summer days. My least favorite time is summer with it's high humidity and, at times, oppressive heat. Sometimes winter can be dreary and seem little more than endless overcast days and cold rain. On a day like today, however, the landscape is full of beauty and I find the cold refreshing and invigorating. All in all, I am happy to live in a part of the world where I can experience all four seasons. Last week the ground hog didn't see his shadow so we still have six weeks or so with the potential for more snow. I think snow is magical and I love when it silently falls from the sky, slows life down, and covers the trees, bushes, evergreens, and ground. A really special treat is to see a bright red Cardinal sitting on a branch. The deep red feathers are a striking contrast to the all white background of nature. Each season has it's beauty and winter beauty is one of my favorites. I will enjoy it while I can until the spring flowers begin to bloom.

There And Back Again

It's been a non stop day. I spent most of my morning going to the monastery. I crept out of my house in the dark, trying not to wake my granddaughter. I found out later she woke up as soon as I shut the front door of my house. It was a cold morning. The drive down I-65 and the country roads to the monastery was beautiful. The starkness of the winter landscape was enhanced by a light covering of snow. Though not deep, it was lovely. Every branch, every bush, every evergreen tree was draped in snow. Soon after leaving home it began to get light so I quickly found myself lost in the beauty of it all. The back roads were mostly empty of cars so I felt like I was all alone. I had a good meeting at the monastery but could not stay long due to other obligations at home. Did I get to rest when I arrived home? No, because my wife had to go get her haircut and I had to watch Chloe. Did I get to rest after she returned? No, because then Chloe's parents showed up. Along with my wife, they left to go pick up a new television whose delivery has been cancelled three times due to the overwhelming demand of people who wanted their new televisions delivered in time for tonight's Super Bowl. I could care less about the Super Bowl. I just wanted the television delivered this weekend so I wouldn't have to take time off from work this week. While they were gone I stayed with Chloe again and watched a SpongeBob Squarepants marathon. Now I sit upstairs in my office while my sons hook up the new television downstairs. When that is done I have a family dinner to get through before I can have some real peace and relaxation. Family is wonderful but they can wear you out sometimes. It would have been nice to stay at the monastery for a longer period of time and get lost in the winter beauty of their solitary grounds and woods. O well, at least I had a taste of silence and solitude while I was there. Once again the weekend has been a blur.

A Man Without A Room

I'm feeling a little lost. The room in my house where I normally spent most of my time is completely uninhabitable. The room is empty of all my books and CD's and the furniture is huddled together in the middle of the room covered by a drop cloth to protect it from any airborne paint. Right now all the walls are covered with primer and that makes the whole house stink. Worst of all I feel like I have no place to run or hide. I find myself wandering around the rest of the house trying to find a place to hang out. The living room is my wife's domain and whenever I am in there, I feel like a guest. I have my upstairs office but it is not really a place to hang out for very long. I can only spend so much time checking my email or Facebook page. My desk chair is not suitable for napping. I'm always afraid it will flip over and I'll be on the floor. So, like the ancient Israelites who wandered forty years in the desert in search of the Promised Land, I wander around my house feeling like a homeless person. I'm like a Hobbit. All I really need is my little Hobbit room in my version of the Shire. This week the painting will be completed and next Saturday the carpet will be installed. Hopefully my new CD and book shelves will be completed and mounted soon and my new computer workstation will also be ready. When all that is done I can move all my stuff back in the room and I will be happy as a pig in mud.

I think my granddaughter is coming over tonight so she can entertain and babysit me. Tomorrow I need to go to the monastery so I will spend my Sunday morning doing that. I had considered not going but the last thing that Br. Frederic said to me after lunch this past Thursday was "See you on Sunday, Michael"! I'm pretty sure that was a message from God. I actually enjoy my trips to the monastery, especially the solitary drive there and back. With today's snowfall, it should be a beautiful drive.

It's time to stop writing now and drink my coffee as I stare out of the window.

Another Snowy Saturday

It's another snowy Saturday morning. We only got a few inches but it is a wet, heavy snow so it has not only covered the ground, it hangs on all the tree limbs, telephone wires, etc. Though not deep, it is quite lovely. My friends to the north are getting buried in record setting snowfall accumulations. It is peaceful to sit here and look out my window at the white, winter landscape. Snow is one of the highlights of the winter season. Rarely does my part of the world get so much that life shuts down. Today, for example, it's enough to be beautiful but not enough to stop you from doing anything....unless you are the Best Buys Delivery Team who called earlier and informed me that my new television would not be delivered today.

Awesome Things Volume III

Using your time well. No, I am not talking about being more productive. I am talking about creating balance in your day. Work is important and it takes up a big chunk of your day. However, you are not what you do. It's also important to find time for play, leisure, rest, and reflection. If possible, on these cold winter days, one should find time for looking out of windows and drinking hot chocolate. Break the cycle of running, running, and more running. Take time to do nothing. Take time to enjoy something or someone you love. Life is short. You don't want to look back on your life and wonder what you did because it's all a blur. As Gandhi once said, "There's more to life than increasing it's speed". Michael Brown once said, "Balance is found in the tension of opposites". Spend some time trying to figure out what I am talking about. 8-)

Books! I love books. I have been a lover of books since my childhood. I'm a little old fashioned so I have not yet bought into the new electronic books. I prefer the smell and feel of a real book in my hands. The love of books is a big part of who I am today. My favorite author is Thomas Merton. If you have liked my daily thoughts in the past, these "Awesome Things", or my online blog, you can thank Thomas Merton. He was my inspiration for writing my own thoughts. There's a book inside of me somewhere that hasn't been written yet. Books have taken my mind and imagination to places my body will never go. As Robert Fripp once said, "Me and a book is a party. Me and a book and a cup of coffee is an orgy". If you don't read, you will never be truly educated.

Being at home. There is a Native American saying that "In old age nothing is better than a warm fire". As I age I understand this saying more and more. I love being at home even though my home is currently in chaos. At the end of each workday I love when I cross the threshold of my front door and I enter the warmth and familiarity of my home. My house is old and imperfect, much like my body, and, like my body, it is where I live. The older I get, the less I want to be "out there". I would rather be home than anywhere else. Enjoy your home. Make it a place of refuge and comfort.

Quiet moments. After I get out of bed, shower, get dressed, prepare breakfast, and make lunch each workday morning, I allow myself about 15 minutes to just sit in silence with a cup of coffee and usually some type of inspirational book. These are 15 of the best minutes of the day. Later in the day, if the weather is nice, I try to take a break outside, sit on a bench, and watch the water fountain. Most days, unless it is raining, I take a contemplative walk around the park. During lunch I often eat alone, not because I am anti-social, but because I need the solitude. These quiet moments throughout my day keep me centered so I am better able to deal with all the other demands of the day. I try to be in the eye of life's hurricanes.

Fridays! Do you ever pay attention to the elevator conversations on a Friday morning? To say that most people feel a sense of relief that it is Friday is something of an understatement. It's ok to feel like that. If you've put in a good week of work, you deserve your weekend and some rest and relaxation. I'm usually thanking God it's Friday, too.

Having lunch with friends. Yesterday I had lunch with two friends who happen to be monks. One was Fr. Michael, who is a little older than me, and the other was Br. Frederic, a monk for 56 years. He is 86 years old and has a mind sharp as a tack. Many, many years ago when I entered the monastery, he was one of the monks who interviewed me. The two of them were in town on business so they called me up and invited me to lunch. Anytime you can have lunch with a friend or friends, you should do it and remember, it's not about the food. It's about the friendship.

Brain Dead

I am sitting here in my home office trying not to fall asleep. My "music room" is uninhabitable at the moment because it is prepped to be painted. My wife is downstairs engrossed in the season premier of "Lost". I got "lost" during the first season and never found my way back. If you need to order a commentary from Amazon.com to understand a television show, it's too complicated to watch on a work night.

I am feeling quite brain dead right now and it is only an act of my will that causes me to even attempt to write something meaningful or coherent tonight.

Today was mostly a good day. I had a delightful lunch with a new friend that I was meeting for the first time. We work for the same company but in different buildings. He is also a reader of this blog. More than once I have met strangers for lunch who learn of me through my writing. It's interesting to learn of their images of me that are based solely on the things I write about. I'm always afraid that I will be a disappointment to them when they meet me in the flesh. The gentleman I met today told me he felt like he was going to meet the "Zen Master". Such statements make me laugh inside. It is not false humility on my part to say that I am quite ordinary. I don't think anyone who lives or works with me on a daily basis thinks I am a "Zen Master" or anything special. To be honest, when others do express a high opinion of me, I often feel like a fraud who will soon be exposed for the charlatan that I am. However, I am also humbled by other's kind thoughts about me and their often affectionate feelings toward me.

Today I was struck with another bout of foot in mouth disease. Someday I hope to really learn that when given the option of choosing, silence is almost always better than speaking. It was an innocent mistake on my part, and I thought I was being helpful. However, in the work enviroment I am way too open and way too honest.

Somehow I have actually filled up this page. I think I have used up what little brain I had left. What day is this?