Writing

I have thousands of opinions still, but that is down from millions and, as always, I know nothing.
-Writer Harold Brodkey

Since I began writing daily thoughts I have published over 1200 of them. Some friends, who are two of my biggest fans and supporters, are currently reading and editing all these thoughts and trying to determine which ones are good enough to be in the book we hope to publish this year. One of the challenges of doing this is that I have written about so many different things over the years. I have written about my granddaughter, family life, Zen, rock and roll, trips to the monastery, the struggles of living a meaningful life, aging, and many other things. Of course, I think this variety of topics is also my appeal to many people. One of my editors described some of my writing as “things everyone thinks about”. I am a kind of “everyman” with fairly good communication skills who can communicate feelings that many people have but perhaps can’t articulate. Much of my writing is nothing more than me thinking out loud on paper. Intellection is one of my five strengths so I tend to be a thinking type person. I also have a very introspective personality. This doesn’t mean I am smarter than everyone else or that I have all the answers to the mysteries of the universe. To be honest, I still don’t know the meaning of life and I have few answers. I can identify with the author of the above quote when he says, “I know nothing”. In fact, the older I get the less I know for certain. I have questions and doubts about almost everything. I have been struggling lately to even think of things to write about since there is nothing new under the sun. The new book of quotes that I received as a Christmas gift has been very helpful in this regard. Writing keeps me from imploding. Some people work out at the gym or do needlepoint to relax. I write and I will continue to do so even if no one else ever reads what I write.

Finding Your Purpose

Train your will to concentrate on a limited objective. When young, your spread your effort over too many things. If your try fails, what does it matter? All life is a failure in the end. The thing is to get sport out of trying.
-Sir Francis Chichester (after sailing around the world at age 71)

I must admit that most of the dreams of my youth have never come to fruition. Much of my life has seemed like an accident. How did a 60’s hippie who once lived in a monastery end up in corporate America?  This doesn’t mean that everything has turned out badly. It just means that my life hasn’t exactly been a well-executed project plan. Many lives are like mine in the sense that people often end up in places they never planned to go. Did I want too many things when I was young and did I spread my efforts too thinly? Perhaps. Much of my life I didn’t know what I really wanted or what I might be good at doing. I was the person at age fifty who wondered, “What do I want to be when I grow up”? Are all the unfulfilled dreams failures? I think not. I’ve had some grand adventures along the journey of life and I think I will have more. In many ways I believe I am on the brink of realizing my own true purpose and I feel I am on the verge of some kind of personal break through. My fifties and now my sixties have been a time of great personal enlightenment. Although I still get annoyed with some of my behavior, I am no longer a mystery to myself. I know who I am and my reason for being is becoming clearer to me. We don’t always get to be what we want to be but we usually end up being who we are meant to be. I am not sure I will be sailing around the world when I am 71 years old like Sir Francis but I will leave my mark in some way. None of us are here just to take up space.

Being A Hobbit

Security is mostly superstition. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
-Helen Keller

Keep in mind that the above quote is from a woman who was deaf, blind, and unable to speak. When I think of that I must wonder what excuse the rest of us have for not living more daring lives. I am not as adventurous as I would like to be. It is not in my nature to be daring or a risk taker. I am way too cautious in my life. It is an ingrained part of my personality to take the path of least resistance. After seeing “The Hobbit” last week with my granddaughter, Chloe, I realized that I have many of the characteristics of a Hobbit. I prefer to sit in my Hobbit house, next to a fire, with a good book, hot coffee, and all my other creature comforts. Life in the Shire suits me fine. Age may turn many of us into Hobbits. If I do take risks it is most likely in my thinking instead of my actions. If Gandalf and a band of Dwarfs showed up at my door urging me to join them on “An Unexpected Journey”, I would most likely be as resistant as Bilbo Baggins. I have a co-worker with the same basic personality as me. We sometimes lament certain parts of our personalities that make us who we are. However, I try not to use who I am as an excuse for not being who I could be. I probably do not challenge myself enough and I doubt that I am alone. Although there is nothing wrong with being a Hobbit, it is not always a good thing to take the path of least resistance and to always avoid danger or risk. A passionate life, whether it be a deeply intellectual life, or one with the daring of Dwarfs and Wizards on a great adventure to Middle Earth, cannot be lived in total safety and comfort.

I Can Breathe Again

In the busyness of the holidays I sometimes forgot to breathe. Today life truly gets back to normal and I can breathe again. For better or worse I am a creature of habit and routine. I try to be conscious in my routines but admittedly I sometimes do them on auto-pilot. Paying attention to my breathing helps me to be mindful  of my activities. I look forward to the coming weeks of nothingness so I can slow down and once again remember to breathe. Some of you are thinking, “What’s his deal with breathing”? Breath is life. When was the last time you actually noticed you were breathing? My guess is that most of you only think about breathing when you can’t do it. Think about the last time you had a cold or your allergies were bothering you. I bet you thought, “I wish I could breathe”! Not only is your breathing a sign that you are alive, it is also a metaphor for being spiritually awake and one with life. Do not take breathing for granted. Sometime today, when you have a quiet moment, stop what you are doing and simply be present to your breathing. Breathe in through your nose and think, “I am one with all of life”. Exhale through your mouth and think, “All of life is one with me”. People have often asked me how to meditate. This is a very simple way. If you want it to be more spiritual, simply change the words to something that is spiritually meaningful to you. Paying attention to your breathing is also an excellent way to become calm if you are feeling a little frazzled as well as a way to enhance your well-being.

It's A Wonderful Life

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I had realized it sooner”.

When I first read this quote I immediately thought about gratitude and the importance of appreciating the moments of our lives. If you live a grateful life and are present to the moment, you will realize how wonderful your life is most of the time. Of course, we all have challenges and setbacks but that doesn’t necessarily diminish the quality of our lives. Yesterday my wife, who is the Chief Financial Officer of the Brown Corporation, sent me an email with her estimate of the financial impact of the new tax rates on our paychecks. As with many of her “business” emails to me it sounded dire and foreboding. There will be a noticeable bite into our paychecks. It will require some adjustment. I may have to cut back on some of my workday lunches at overpriced restaurants along Main Street. However, the point I want to make is this. The new tax rates, as well as many other things in life, are an inconvenience not a crisis. As I told my wife on our drive home last night a crisis would be losing our jobs. I don’t like paying taxes any more than anyone else. However, I am grateful that I have a paycheck that can be taxed. My paycheck is not all that impressive and the money that flows into my checking account has fluctuated up and down over the years. However, it has provided me with reasonable security and it has contributed to many wonderful things in my life. It is so easy to complain and complaining seems such a part of being human, but if we are honest most of us have far more for which to be grateful. Sometimes you need to just sit down and count your blessings. We tend to take the good things in our lives for granted and to blow the bad things in our lives out of proportion. My experience of life’s challenges is that their size is a matter of perspective. Today’s problems seem huge. Most of yesterday’s problems seem like a bump in the road. Start today to realize what a wonderful life you probably have.

Growing Younger

A new friend, with whom I felt a deep connection almost immediately, gave me a book for Christmas called “Age Doesn’t Matter Unless You’re A Cheese”. It is a collection of sayings that were all written by people over sixty years old. The book is right up my alley. I told my friend the book would very likely inspire many of my own daily thoughts. Her response was, “Why do you think I bought you the book”! I love it whenever people think of me and especially when they give me things that have some thought behind them.
Here is today’s thought from my new book.

“I suppose real old age begins when one looks backward rather than forward”.
-May Sarton

I haven’t made any New Year’s resolutions this year although I do have one big goal. However, there is one thing I really want to avoid and that is acting old. When one’s chronological age is in the range that I am now it is easy to slip into an old age mentality. This year I really want to be resistant to that. Coming to work every day helps because I am surrounded by many younger people. It is also helpful to be a body in motion rather than a body at rest. Everyone is familiar with the basic law of physics that says “ a body in motion tends to stay in motion while a body at rest tends to stay at rest”. This is challenging for me because I have a sedentary job that often drains my brain and causes me to dream of my couch. One way or another I need to be a body in motion. Another thing for me to avoid is day dreaming and spacing out. I know I have written a lot about mindfulness and being in the moment but it is still no easier for me than it is for many other people. Multi-tasking and being over stimulated with various forms of media contribute to my fatigue and dissipation. I need to live more intentionally and purposefully. I hope my desire and goal to publish a book this year gives me more focus. Looking forward, I hope to be younger in my thinking, more active if only by walking more, and more purpose driven and less spaced out in my day dreaming.

I did crank up “Jumpin' Jack Flash” by the Rolling Stones on the radio this morning as soon as my wife got out of the car so I guess there’s still hope for me.

Hibernation

January is a hibernation month for me. After the busyness and the buildup of the holiday season it is a welcome relief. Some of the hibernation is financially driven. My wife informed me this morning that we are on our own personal fiscal cliff. It’s not because we spent too much during the holidays. It’s more about what’s looming ahead. Can you spell T-A-X-E-S? Financially, emotionally, and spiritually, January is a good time to let the dust settle in our lives before the new life and activity of spring arrives. When the holidays are over it can be a bit depressing, especially during these days when all of the decorations have not yet been packed away. I will complete that task this coming weekend. Once that last Christmas tub is stored away and the shed is locked, there will be a sense of relief. When everything is packed away and the house is once again clean and orderly, I can begin in my psychological hibernation. My days of course will still be filled with work responsibilities but my evenings will be quiet time at home where I am protected from the dark and the cold of winter. Books, hot beverages, and good movies will comfort me. Slowly the days will grow longer, spring will challenge winter, the sun will shine more, and like an old bear I will re-emerge from my cave.