A Few Thoughts About 9/11

This is the 12^th anniversary of the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon.  I remember the day well.  I was at work and sitting in a cubicle only a few feet from where I sit now.  When I realized what was happening my first thought was of  my sister who lives in New York.  People say that we should never forget this event and I understand why.  However, I sometimes get weary of remembering.  I am over terrorists and anyone else that wreaks havoc on the lives of innocent people.  I am over war.  I was born during the Korean war.  I grew up in the cold war with the daily fear of nuclear holocaust.  I protested the Vietnam war in my youth.  Much of my adult life, especially the last 12 years, has been lived with almost daily news of continued war.  Most people, not just Americans, want to live their lives in peace.  They want to go to work, take care of their families, and come home at night without the fear of constant war.  This is not meant to be a political rant.  I have a brother and other family members with military backgrounds.  My father and my father-in-law were veterans of World War II.  I appreciate and I honor all they have done and continue to do.  I am just one human being out of billions that simply wants to live in peace.  Some will say that war is the price for peace.  I get that, too.  However, war should always be a last resort.  Peace is what 99% of mankind wants.          

Remembering To Be Grateful

I tried an experiment last night.  When I went to bed I did not lie there and obsess about things that bother me.  Instead I thought about all the people and things in my life for which I am grateful.  I think most of us have more blessings in life than trials.  Eventually I fell asleep and slept like a baby until I got the morning shove from my wife telling me it was time to get out of bed.  Many mystics and other holy people teach us that we should live with a grateful heart.  The difference between obsessing over our unhappiness and being grateful for our blessings is attitude.  Our minds are powerful and it is challenging to keep them under control.  Unattended our mind can take us to many places we do not want to go.  This is why most meditation centers around the mind and our thoughts.  As I said yesterday, the Buddha teaches that most of our suffering comes from our own minds.  The Christian way is the way of the heart.  The way of the heart is the path of gratefulness.  Every time today that you experience something that is not exactly what you want, counterbalance that experience with a thought of gratitude.  We all have troubles, some more than others, but the least of us, and even those with the least, can find something in our lives for which to be grateful.  As a start, if you are reading these thoughts, you are alive.  Start there.  Be grateful for life.      

 

Sleepless

Even though summer refuses to let go of its grasp without a fight, in my mind it is autumn.  There are already visions of pumpkins dancing in my head and I am eager for my first pumpkin spice latte of the season.  However, since the temperatures will be in the 90’s most of the week my visions and taste buds must live in faith and hope that autumn is right around the corner and will be here soon.

 

I love coffee and its first cousin, caffeine.  I especially love them this morning since I had a terrible night.  If I got three hours of sleep last night I am lucky.  I’m not sure what the problem was.  I slept well on Friday and Saturday night.  I woke up naturally each morning and felt refreshed without spending half the day in bed.  Even on the weekends I am generally early riser because I love mornings.  The problem is that I usually don't want to go to work.  Getting up is not the problem.  I have no memory of any Sunday afternoon naps.  I think the problem was my mind.  Sometimes I can’t turn it off and for some reason it kicks into overdrive when I go to bed.  To make it even worse I tend to think about things that upset me and then my mind obsesses over these thoughts.  It is very annoying.  I think the Buddha is correct when he says that the source of most of our suffering is our own mind.  I’ve mentioned before that I once read that our minds will always go in a negative direction unless we intentionally think positive thoughts.  Today, between yawns and refills of my coffee cup, I will think positive thoughts.  If a negative thought creeps into my mind, I will send an army of positive thoughts to chase the negative thoughts from my mind.  If you have this problem, you might want to do the same.    

 

Rock And Roll Road Warrior

I have tried to age gracefully and not complain too much about getting older.  Getting older is not all bad.  I am only a few short years from retirement and I am eager for the day when I no longer have to work full time.  I am generally happy with who I am even if there are still huge areas of unhappiness.  One thing I truly miss, however, is road trips and live music.  I still see the occasional concert but the last road trip I made was in 2010 when I went to Chicago for the Eric Clapton Crossroads Guitar Festival.  That was quite a day even if it was 100 degrees in the shade.  Much of the 90's I was often on the road to a couple of favorite venues.  One was the Riverbend Music Center in Cincinnati and the other is a place I will always call the Deer Creek Music Center despite the current corporate sponsorship and blasphemous name of Verizon Music Center.  In those days I would see the Allman Brothers Band and the Grateful Dead on a regular basis.  There were years I would see the Grateful Dead three nights in a row and one year I saw the Allman Brothers band three times in one week in three different states.  I did have a resurgence of activity in the 2000's when I found some new companions who shared my love of rock and roll.  In the last ten years or so I have seen Buddy Guy, John Fogerty, David Byrne, Derek Trucks, Dickey Betts, the Eagles, Grand Funk Railroad, The Dead, Joe Cocker, Steve Miller Band, Robert Plant and Jimmy Page, Leftover Salmon, the Stringcheese Incident, Roger Waters, the Rolling Stones, Little Feat, and Paul McCartney.  A few months ago I saw Yes and in a few weeks I am seeing the Moody Blues.  In my lifetime I have seen quite a few of my musical heroes but the last few years have been a little lean.  When I was on the road more often I wrote the following playful description of a Road Warrior.

An aging and nearly extinct creature who spends all available time and resources searching for the lost chord.  These strange and exotic creatures have been known to spend their last dime in pursuit of the chills and emotional satisfaction generated by extended guitar solos, meaningful lyrics, and being with others of their kind.  Often misunderstood, they are gentle creatures who enjoy simple pleasures like sitting in their lawn chairs on a summer night while good vibrations fill the space around them.  They have even been known to take off their shoes and share a blanket.

I know it's only rock and roll but I like it!

Work And The Weekend

I am looking forward to a quiet weekend.  Last weekend was busy and hectic.  This week has been busy and sad.  It was also my wife’s first week back to work after six weeks of short term disability.  The next two days we will be practicing an economy of motion.  In other words we will both move as little as possible.  I expect several naps and lots of looking out the window.  Many people, especially young people, try to cram as much activity as possible into the weekend.  It is like they are attempting to live seven days of life in two days of weekend.  I no longer have such energy.  As much as I love the weekends, the work week is not all bad.  I have many enjoyable moments throughout the week.  Work is important for reasons beyond a paycheck.  We often don’t like to work because for most people it is a necessity and not simply something they choose to do with their time.  I admit that the most difficult part of working for me is having to do it when there are times I would rather do something else.  However, within the work week I am often able to do good things.  Yesterday, for example, I interviewed people all day for potential employment with my company.  Some of them will end up with jobs here.  Today I am having lunch with a dear friend and co-worker that I haven’t seen in many weeks.  On a typical day there are many opportunities for light heartedness and laughter.  I am blessed with many wonderful co-workers.  When this work day is finished I will pick up my wife, who I am sure will be eagerly waiting on the curb.  A little later in the evening we will pick up our priest son who has been in Chicago all week.  We’ll go to dinner and listen to his stories.  Afterwards, we will send him back to his parish then we’ll take a nap.  Let the weekend begin!   

When Young People Die

This past weekend a young member of my team at work passed away unexpectedly.  This is a piece I wrote in 2007 at the request of another young co-worker.  In view of this weekend's event, it seems appropriate to post it again.  

 

A friend came to me recently after attending a funeral for the 18 year old sibling of one of her best friends. She expressed to me how difficult the funeral was for her and how helpless she felt to console her friend. She asked me what can be said in such a situation. It is difficult for anyone to find the right words in such a situation. I have been through similar experiences. When I was 29 years old, my younger brother in law was killed by a drunk driver. A few years later a child in my neighborhood died in a house fire across the street from where I lived. Another time the only son of a good friend died of cancer at age 20. When my youngest son, Nick, was 17 years old, his best friend died unexpectedly the day after spending the night at our house. Each time I felt helpless as I struggled to find words for a sister in law, a neighbor, a friend, and my son. It is always difficult to deal with the death of a young person. None of us understand why such things happen. If God has anything to do with it, I don't understand what He's thinking. What's his purpose? What's the point? Why is such sorrow brought upon spouses, parents, friends, and relatives? Sometimes I shudder when, in such circumstances, I hear people say, "It's God's will". I don't like to let God off the hook so easily. There is probably a very thin line between what God wills and what God allows. I will accept the fact that many things in life are a mystery and one can have lengthy theological discussions about God and evil and why bad things happen to good people. I don't understand everything that happens in life and I certainly cannot give my friend or others easy explanations for why 18 year olds die and other's live to be 100 years old. Do the good die young? Yes, sometimes. Do bad people live long lives? Yes, sometimes. Do some of us live long lives because we need a lot of time for a deep spiritual transformation to take place within us? This is very likely. Life really is a mystery. It is not likely we will solve its mystery this side of the grave. Through faith we believe and trust that our lives and the lives of others, no matter how short, have a purpose and life is not just a series of random, meaningless experiences. I must believe that life and pain have meaning and someday I hope to understand it. Part of the mystery of life is that we never know when it will end. This should motivate us to live each day well and to the fullest.

It's Time To Get Back On The Horse

My mini-vacation has come to an end.  It was a busy time.  Over the weekend I drove 600+ miles, endured intense heat and humidity, bumper to bumper traffic from Interstate-40 to my hotel room, and billions of people spending the holiday weekend in Gatlinburg.  In the midst of all this chaos my oldest son, who shares my name, got married.  It was a beautiful ceremony in a small Smoky Mountain chapel.  The groom appeared nervous and the bride was beaming.  My son and his new wife seem well suited to one another.  Chloe wasn’t too thrilled about being dressed up and I have never worn a suit in Gatlinburg until now.  A few days before this event my wife and I attended a luncheon with the Archbishop and our other son in honor of his recent ordination.  Other priests were also honored for their combined 500+ years of ministry.  I guess my mini-vacation was really a time to be proud as a parent and to celebrate and recognize my children’s accomplishments.  Today my poor wife was moving slow as she returned to work after six weeks of short term disability.  I know she was exhausted by the end of the day but I am glad that our life is returning to its normal pace and routine.  Even though I was only off for six days, I feel like I’ve been off for six weeks.  It’s time to get back on the horse.