Thomas Merton

Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm, and harmony.
-Thomas Merton

A Facebook friend posted this quote on her “Wall”. Yesterday, while I was taking my morning Zen walk, I saw this friend coming into my building. We quickly got into a very engaging conversation about Merton, the Dalai Lama, Buddhism, and spirituality in general. Thomas Merton has been one of the most influential people in my life. He was a Christian monk and he lived in the same monastery that I lived in although we were not there at the same time. Although a Christian monk he is the person who introduced me to Zen and Buddhist thinking. Shortly before his death in 1968 he met with a then young Dalai Lama in India. Today the Dalai Lama thinks Merton was the bridge between Eastern and Western spirituality. Before leaving for Asia to meet with various spiritual leaders, Merton spent the last three years of his life living as a hermit on the monastery grounds. He had a small house in the woods away from the main monastery. I have been fortunate to make two retreats, completely alone, in Merton’s Hermitage. To live and sleep in the very space where one of my biggest influences lived was very meaningful to me. 

My Grateful Dead Days

I went downstairs yesterday to take my morning walk and quickly realized my normal route was impossible because of all the people who were there for our Inclusion and Diversity Day. I headed outside because it was a beautiful morning. Soon I became distracted by the sound of drumming. Some local young people were performing some complicated drum patterns to the delight of many people. I love drums. In high school I had a set of drums and until recently I had some conga’s. I really need to buy a set of matching conga’s with a stand so I can pursue my inner Santana. The drumming I heard yesterday caused me to have a moment of Déjà vu. It is common knowledge that I am a card carrying Deadhead. For those not in the know, a Deadhead is a fanatical follower of the Grateful Dead. Back in the late 80’s and early 90’s they were at the peak of their popularity and I attended as many of their concerts as a man with a full time job could do. If you’ve never been to a Dead show, it was quite the experience. I would describe the “parking lot scene” as a Renaissance Fair for the chemically altered with 99% of the people dressed in tie dyed clothes. I was probably one of the few people in my right mind although I, too, was wearing tie dye. The parking lot also contained the world’s largest collection of vintage Volkswagen vans. I had long hair in those days and looked like Jerry Garcia’s twin brother. Many people came to Grateful Dead concerts with drums. It was quite common to hear drum circles pounding out all kinds of rhythms. Such drumming can put you in a trance. If you want to hear what it sounded like I recommend the music of Mickey Hart, one of the two Grateful Dead drummers. Check out his CD’s “At The Edge” and “Planet Drum”. Yes, of course I have these in my music collection. I told you I’m a Deadhead.

Living In The Now

If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.
~Lao-Tzu

Lao-Tzu is a Chinese philosopher. Whenever I read any of his stuff he is usually right on the money. This particular quote ties in well with all my previous thoughts about mindfulness. How many of us are depressed or unhappy because we compare our current life to a romanticized ideal of how great we thought our life used to be? How many of us fail to see what’s really good in our current life because every waking minute we are daydreaming about some life we wish we had and we’re worrying about whether or not we will ever achieve it? We spend too much times thinking life used to be great or it could be great if only things were different. When we are truly present to the eternal Now I believe we see things differently. Part of being mindful is noticing things. When we are living in the past or dreaming of the future we are not likely to be noticing the good realities of the present. I once read a quote of unknown origin that went “These are the good old days”. Remember that today used to be the future and soon it will be the past. Where you are now is where you will always be in the sense that only the present truly exists. Notice the present and be at peace.

What Do You Think About?

Sometimes I wonder what other people think about. Anyone who has read my daily thoughts for any length of time has a pretty good idea what I am about. Many people I know don’t seem to think deeply about too many things. Sometimes I am envious of that. I seem to always be on a quest for meaning and understanding and this often keeps me unsettled. I am reminded of two things. One is an episode of Seinfeld where Jerry’s had another relationship go sour. Kramer looks at him and says, “You think there’s more to life, don’t you”? Then he says, “Well let me clue you in, Buddy, there’s not”! Another time I was frustrated because my spouse never seemed to care about the same things as me. I looked at her and said, “You should think deeper thoughts. A ship that sails in deep water never runs a ground”. She looked at me and said, “Yes, but if you stay in the shallow water you will never drown”. Sometimes people seem to admire me because they think I am “deep”. At the same time I am sometimes envious of people who don’t feel the need to understand life or see it’s deeper meaning. They seem to just live life and I admire the simplicity of that. Some people seem to just flow with life and I often feel that I am swimming upstream and fighting the current. Yes, I have my moments of intellectual and spiritual clarity but I also experience a lot of darkness and confusion along the way. What kind of person are you? Do you just live life and deal with whatever life throws at you or are you constantly trying to figure it all out and understand it?

Breathe

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who doesn’t want a calm life and a peaceful mind. It is possible to have a calm life, at least inside oneself, but you will never have a totally peaceful mind. You can create calming rituals in your life to help you be centered. You can get up a little earlier to enjoy the morning quiet and prevent yourself from having to rush to wherever you need to be. You can take breaks throughout your day to sit quietly and re-connect with your inner self. When you get home after a day of work you can take a hot bath or maybe sit outside and enjoy nature in your backyard. Having a peaceful mind is more challenging. Your mind never rests or takes a break. You mind often feeds your ego and that is rarely a good thing. In my mind I sometimes have thoughts I do not want. In my mind I sometimes obsess on small things until they seem to loom large. When I try to be quiet my mind creates noise. When I try to be still, my mind tells me I should be busy. Even when I am sleeping my mind creates dreams that may be troubling.  All is not lost. In the middle of whatever calming rituals that work for you, you can at least temporarily distract your mind by choosing to not think. I do this by focusing on my breath. Our breath is life. I meditate by intentionally paying attention to my breath as I breathe in through my nose and I exhale through my mouth. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, I am assuming you are breathing. Pay attention to your breath and calm will come into your life.

A Walk In The Park

Yesterday, after quietly eating lunch at my desk, I decided to go outside for some fresh air. Since I am in a building with sealed windows I sometimes feel like I am breathing twenty year old air. When I got outside my first thought was how much I enjoy working downtown. I love that there are so many restaurants within walking distance to say nothing of all the available green space across the street from my office. Yesterday was a perfect day. There was a cool breeze, the sun was shining bright, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the aroma of cooked food filled the air. Most days there is a hot dog vendor on the sidewalk and a recent additional is a variety of local food trucks. I crossed the street and walked along Waterfront Park. A group of young girls, all dressed in veils, were gleefully running in and out of the water jets. I decided to walk along the river. Other people were doing the same. I spotted two ducks swimming against the current but seemingly enjoying themselves. For a brief moment I thought how most of us also swim against the current but don’t seem to enjoy it like the ducks. I was tempted to sit on a park bench and watch the barges go up and down the river but I knew if I did I might forget to come back to work. Walks in the park and along the river provide me with some of the perfect moments that I often speak about. While walking and thinking it occurred to me that we have different names for the same experience. Mindfulness, Zen moments, Flow, and Contemplation are all really the same thing. Mindfulness and Zen are Buddhist terms. Flow is a term coined by a psychologist to describe the experience of being in the moment so completely that you lose all sense of time and space. Contemplation is a Christian term to describe what I believe is the same awakened state that Buddhists speak about. For a Christian that awakened state would be an experience of oneness and unity with God. Whatever you call it, it is an experience meant for all. Too many people don’t realize that. It’s not just for the spiritually elite.

Dawn And Dusk

Even though I usually move slowly from my bed each morning when the alarm goes off, I love mornings. I even get up early on the weekends. I am especially loving these beautiful spring mornings when the air is cool and the neighborhood is quiet except for the sounds of birds greeting the dawn. I realized when I got up this morning that I forgot to set out my recycle bin last night. I went into my back yard to get it and it was so peaceful that I just wanted to get a cup of coffee, sit in my lawn chair, and soak it all it. Of course my lawn chair was occupied by a small bird who appeared to think he owned it. My Buddha statue was sitting serenely as always. Under the back porch roof was a pigeon who has recently laid some eggs. She’s been sitting in her nest for a couple of weeks but I haven’t seen any babies yet. Life always seems better in the mornings. It is fresh and open to endless possibilities. The end of the day has a different feel. I am usually tired and occasionally I feel beat up. When I go home the greatest possibility is that I will fall asleep in my chair. Dawn may be my favorite time of the day but I also love dusk when the sun slips under the horizon and the night approaches. If I could just find a way to hide during the whole middle part of the day!