Saturday, May 05, 2007

Looking Back And Beyond The Horizon

Every morning when the alarm clock goes off I feel like the man in those old Dunkin Donut commercials. As he gets out of bed and stumbles down the hallway to the bathroom, he repeats his mantra, "Time to make the donuts, time to make the donuts".

I hesitated to send out yesterday's daily thoughts because I was concerned people would just think I was having a bad day. I guess in a small way I do take some risks by sending out thoughts that may be too revealing or possibly misunderstood. My daily thoughts are either what is on my mind or what is happening in my life right now. They are only rarely memoirs of the past. My Zen approach to living is to be in the NOW. Certainly there are private thoughts I would never share in such a public forum. However, I always try to be as honest as possible and as open as I can be. I do not think that what I say is especially brilliant. I believe the popularity of my thoughts is because I often express thoughts that many others think but who rarely express them because they wonder if they are the only ones having such thoughts. I am not the sun providing light to everyone. I am more of a mirror that reflects the joys and occasionally the fears that all of us share as human beings. Whenever I am somewhat fearful or hesitant about what I am sending out, I seem to get the best responses. Yesterday I received some of the kindest and thoughtful emails I have ever received. I was greatly affirmed and now feel even more encouraged to continue my efforts to express my thoughts about life and living.

One of the things said about one of my favorite people....Thomas that he was always looking for the further shore. That didn't mean he was always trying to escape where he was. Admittedly, he did a little of that, too. One can be where they are, and have some degree of happiness or contentment, and still look beyond the horizon. It's OK to wonder what's "out there". I don't necessarily look to the future as an escape from the present. I look to the future and dream of the possibilities for my life. When you have been faithful to situations in your life for a long time it is easy to think that life will never change. When there is no change, even if life is good, boredom will set in eventually. Boredom can be an enemy of the spiritual life. It can be boredom that causes us to run to the shore and look beyond the horizon for new possibilities. It can be boredom that calls us into daydreams but it is those dreams that call us to action. It is action that brings about change. Of course, today's change can becomes tomorrow's boredom and the cycle of boredom to dreaming to action to change begins again. Can you move on every time you are bored? Not always. Sometimes you must face the boredom and deal with the message it is giving you. Why are you bored? Why do you feel empty? What would relieve the boredom or fill the emptiness?

I must take a short walk down memory lane....When I was walking from my office to my parking garage yesterday I could hear music from the park across the street. It was mainly the drums that I heard. It brought back memories of all the Grateful Dead concerts that I have seen. Grateful Dead concerts were very unique. As soon as you got out of your car you would hear drumming. Many Deadheads had drums and there were often drum circles playing together in wild abandon. As you followed the beat you would soon find yourself in the "parking lot" scene. The parking lot at a Grateful Dead concert was the closest I have ever been to a Renaissance Fair. There were thousands of tie-dyed Deadheads. I was one of them. It contained the worlds largest collection of antique Volkswagen vans. The smell of cooking food and the availability of veggie burritos was everywhere. Vendors of clothes and jewelry would be all over the place. Many people never made it to the actual concert. They came for the parking lot scene. I miss those days.

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