Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Getting Back On Track

It has poured down rain all day. The darkness and the rain made it more difficult than usual to get out of bed this morning. When I did get up I found myself wishing I could stay home and enjoy the deeper solitude that falling rain or snow seems to bring. Alas, duty called and there are bills to pay so I headed off to work. It was a quiet day. The falling rain made me feel sleepy throughout the day. The dampness outside made the office air conditioning seem to be on overdrive. Being cold and sleepy, I drank more coffee than usual. It occurred to me last night that I have gotten intellectually lazy. This has been exacerbated by the fact that I am under no obligation or deadline to write any thoughts for this blog. In the past I used to send out my thoughts on a daily basis to hundreds of people. In a sense it was voluntary on my part but so many people liked and expected them that it actually began to feel like a job. Admittedly it was a job I loved but I put pressure on myself to put something out there everyday and being the perfectionist that I am, I strived to put out quality thoughts that I hoped would make a difference in people's lives. Most of the time I was successful based on the responses I received and the never ending requests to be added to my distribution lists. When I stopped doing the email distribution I felt no pressure or obligation to write my thoughts. I got a little lazy and when my new freedom interacted with my evening fatigue, weekend busyness, and reduced reading, I found myself with less and less to say. It is my reading that generally stimulates my mind. I think what people enjoyed about my writing in the past was that I could write about Zen or contemplation one day, rock and roll the next day, and my granddaughter the day after that. I don't think I am anything special but I may be a little unique in the fact that my life has all of these elements within in and most of the time they live in harmony and balance within me. So, for those of you who may be missing some of my deeper reflections on the beauty and meaning to be found in the ordinary moments of life, I am going to try to get back on track with such things as the Tao Te Ching and books like Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now". It's been a slow summer for rock and roll but I will also continue to share my musical journey as it unfolds, and there are will always be stories about my life as a Pa Paw. Stay tuned.

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