Thursday, July 09, 2009

Lazy Days

In my youth there was a song on the radio about the "lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer". Well, as this summer marches on my days haven't been too hazy or crazy but they have certainly been lazy. Most days I wake up to beautiful, slightly cool mornings. Some of the best moments of my life remain the quiet times before leaving for work when I sit in my chair with my morning coffee and a few lines from whatever book I am reading at the moment. On weekends I am able to linger a little longer as I drink multiple cups of coffee and I enjoy my leisure and the morning newspaper. Workdays have generally been pleasant and all is well in the workplace. My evenings have become less and less productive as I sit around in a daze or I find myself falling into a wonderful dream state. Naps are always nice but I don't like it when they steal my precious personal time. I tend to have an active mind and I often put pressure on myself to read or write. Sometimes when I feel like I should be making more of a difference in the world I feel better about myself when I am learning some new insight through my reading or I am sharing some new knowledge or reflection through my writing. Lately I haven't felt like I am sharing much of value. Most of my recent blog entries have been little more than simple sharing about what I am doing in my life. In all honesty I am not feeling all that insightful these days. In the past such feelings made me wonder if my well was dry. However, I think much of my previous efforts to be insightful were thinly disguised efforts to find meaning in my own life. Such efforts often wore me out. One friend suggested I shouldn't have to work so hard to find meaning in my life and that it should be more obvious to me. I was often weary of the search and frequently wished I could simply relax and enjoy the life I had a little more. Maybe my recent "lazy days" have been exactly that. I've been making a conscious effort to be more appreciative of what I have in life and less focused on what seems to be missing. These summer days I have tried to enjoy simple pleasures, without guilt, whether they be the joy of music, the smile of my granddaughter, or the success of my children. Perhaps it all boils down to learning how to relax and live. This attitude seems to go well with aging in general and the natural process of slowing down. I am going to continue enjoying these "lazy days of summer" and then I will enjoy the "lazy days" of autumn, winter, and spring.

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