Searching For The Reason

A friend in my office emailed me yesterday and reminded me that 19 years ago, on August 5^th, 1995, I was nearly killed in a traffic accident.  I had mostly forgotten this event but my friend was married on the same day and in a very sad turn of events her grandmother was killed in another traffic accident on the very same day.  As it turns out we were both in the emergency room at the same time although I had no idea while it was happening.  It was a tough week for me.  While I was home recovering from my accident, Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead died unexpectedly.  Being a card carrying Deadhead, I was very upset.  Several days later there was a memorial in the park for Jerry but I was in no condition to attend.  My youngest son, the one who is now a priest, attended for me.  He was a teenager at the time.  The joke in the office was that people were filling up my cubicle with incense and candles.  In those days I was often mistaken for Jerry Garcia since I had shoulder length graying hair and a beard and I looked like Jerry’s twin brother.  When I finally returned to work there was a post-it note on my computer monitor.  It simply said, “You were spared for a reason.  Now you need to figure out why.”  After nearly twenty years of additional life I am still searching for the reason.  I think I am like most people.  The value of my own life is not usually obvious to me.  I live my life, I do what I do, and I can only hope it has some value.  Much of our lives we are planting seeds that we may not see grow.  Many people plant trees under whose shade they will never sit.  Many of us may be noticed more by our absence than by our presence.  Either way, we should live our lives to the best of our abilities and hope the purpose and mission of our lives is realized.    

I am still a card carrying Deadhead but keep that under your hat.  I wear a disguise to the office so I don’t freak anyone out.