The last time I visited my mother in the nursing home while she was still coherent I arrived while she was getting some physical therapy. I waited for her to finish. When the therapist brought her out in a wheel chair I followed behind them. The therapist said, "Mrs. Brown, you have a visitor". I said, "Hello, mom, how are you today"? She replied, "This is my retired son". I think I am the first person in my family to retire since my father retired 22 years before his death 9 years ago. At some point during my visit with my mother she asked, "What are you going to do with yourself? You can only read so many books". Boy, did she hit the nail on the head! Reading and listening to music were two of my favorite activities when I didn't have much time to do them. Now that I have endless hours to do both, I have an attention span of about five minutes. Sometimes I walk around my own home as though I were lost. That is usually when I head to the park. Physical activity does help my often negative mood.
I need to figure out what I can do with my time that doesn't feel like a job. One of my fellow retirees recently said to me, "I want to volunteer at the soup kitchen but not every day"! Another friend who is still working, and who is a former co-worker, sent me an email and said, "You have a passion for leading and teaching. It's a natural, God given talent. Stop focusing on the retired Michael and focus on the teaching Michael and I think your journey will open itself to you".
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My friend makes a very good point. Whatever opens itself up to me is not something I will find at home.
Attention to the Universe! I am listening. My ears and heart are on high alert. Point me in the right direction for Phase Two of my life. Sometimes you have to take a step before you see the path. At this moment I am not sure what step one is but I will try to figure it out if it doesn't reveal itself to me.
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