I had dinner with my granddaughter, Chloe, on Tuesday night. I picked her up at the daycare as I often do. She was so cute with her Christmas sweatshirt. It was red and had Santa and Rudolph on it. Rudolph's nose was blinking on and off. Chloe is only 3 1/2 years old but she seems so grown up sometimes. She's quite the little person. Talking with her is like talking to an adult. Actually, I would rather talk to her than to most adults. I like her simple and direct observations about life. She's a Zen child and lives totally in the moment. She will be wild with excitement and joy on Christmas morning. I have nothing but pleasant Christmas memories from my childhood with my own children. Now I have great memories with a grandchild.
Yesterday I went out for a walk during my lunch break. It was a totally gorgeous day. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the air was cool but not cold. Walking a couple of laps around the park totally refreshed me. I was tempted to go down by the river, sit on a bench, and watch the barges go up and down the Ohio River. Yesterday's daily thoughts included a quote that said, "Sometimes I just sit and think. Other times I just sit". If I had gone down to the river, I could have spent the entire afternoon just sitting and letting all my thoughts and concerns float away with the river current.
Last night my son had dinner with the Archbishop. My wife went to a Mexican restaurant with her friends. Me? I stayed home and had a bowl of cheerios with sliced bananas. Afterwards, I read the morning paper before falling asleep for two hours in my chair. It was an exciting night!
I have been in a contemplative mood and I have been reflecting on all the different parts of my life. It's occurred to me this morning that my life seems to go through the same patterns over and over. I go along for days and weeks and even months feeling content and satisfied with my life. Then, for no apparent reason, I don't feel content or satisfied. I get in a slight funk where I seem to feel empty or bored. These waves of feeling are like the tides of the ocean as they come in and go out. I don't know why they happen. I think I often feel like this when the holidays approach. These times of expected happiness are not always on the same schedule as my emotional moods. My life doesn't change that much from day to day so I usually try to ignore my moods. Moods are like the weather. They constantly change and who says that a sunny day is better than a rainy day? Both are necessary and they work together to bring about the desired results. When a farmer plants a seed, doesn't he need the rain and the sun? If there's one without the other, the seed doesn't grow or reach maturity. So, like the weather, one must patiently wait out our changing moods. Sometimes, when I am down, something will happen that will cause me to suddenly wake up and be in touch with something deep within me that fills me with a new joy and zest for living. My life has been full of such awakenings. I love the surprise when they happen.
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