Friday, February 27, 2009

Home Alone With Total Freedom

I was awakened in the wee hours of the morning by the sound of pouring rain. When the wind began to blow I felt drops of rain landing on my face. It's a great thing to wake up in darkness, snug in your warm bed, with the rain falling from the sky outside your window. When I left the house to take my wife to work it was warm. At this moment the temperature has already fallen ten degrees. Winter is returning with a chance for light snow tomorrow. Next week spring, and possibly summer, will arrive. Beyond that, who knows? I am sitting here with a cup of freshly brewed "Seattle's Best" and the music of Peter Gabriel playing in the background. I am home alone all day and I can do whatever I want. It's a great and wonderful feeling to have such freedom. It may not be for all the right reasons but I love my solitude. A day like today is like being given a bag of perfect moments.

Yesterday I had lunch with my friend, Wayne. He is a chaplain at the local VA hospital. We talked of many things but the most intriguing subject was the mystery of God. When I was young anything related to faith that couldn't be explained was written off as a mystery. Now that I am older, everything related to God and faith is a mystery. Nothing is certain for me and much does not make sense. I am lost in the mystery and the darkness. The question is "Have I completely lost my faith or is this actually progress on the spiritual path"?

In another encounter with a friend via email I discussed the "Spirituality of Subtraction". In our culture we tend to think life is all about gathering and hoarding and piling up stuff. In the spiritual life it is really about letting go, not grasping, and subtraction rather than addition.

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