Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Stop Beating Yourself Up

Whether we realize it or not, most of us have been told our entire lives that we aren't good enough.  Our life has been filled with messages telling us that we are inadequate and imperfect.  Most of the messages were unintentional but real none the less.  They have been from our parents, our teachers, our spouses, our significant others, our children, our relatives, our friends, and our employers.  We don't measure up, we disappoint, or we don't meet someone else's standards or expectations.  I, too, have heard these messages my entire life.  A friend once recommended a book to me that took me a while to read.  I would have read it sooner but, of course, I am imperfect and lazy or so I have been told.  We all receive negatives messages.  Sometime they are from ourselves.  They don't always come from others.  We are often our own biggest critic.  The name of the book is Regardless of What You Were Taught to Believe.....There is Nothing Wrong With You by Cheri Huber.  It is sub-titled "Going Beyond Self-Hate, A Compassionate Process for Learning to Accept Yourself Exactly as You Are".  The book begins with a list of all the messages all of us received in our early childhoods.  I was amazed how many I had heard, how many I said to my own children, and how many I have said to my granddaughter who I love more than anything in the world.  According to psychologists most of these messages become part of our psyche and are set in concrete before we reach age seven.  I know this may all sound terribly negative but it is not meant to be.  Consider it an eye opener and a wakeup call stop listening to the voices around you.  Today is the day to start loving yourself.  Quit trying to improve yourself.  Quit thinking you're inadequate.  Quit thinking you're imperfect.  Quit thinking you’re not smart enough or beautiful enough.  You're perfect the way you are.   

1 comment:

Dawna said...

Sounds like a very useful book. thanks for sharing