Monday, March 19, 2007


I have been a little stressed lately. Last week I was very busy at work and my weekend at home was non stop activity. This week promises to be another very busy week. One of the things I must do at work is attend two days of off site meetings. I might be more positive about them if I could stop thinking about the work and emails that will pile up in my absence from the office. I must admit that all this busyness is stressing me out. I am finding it difficult to follow my own advice of being calm and present to the moment. Even when you know this is what you should and need to do, it is challenging to do so when you feel like a spinning top. I knew I was feeling tense this weekend. I had my first meltdown with my granddaughter, Chloe. My son and daughter in law were at my house painting. The wife was helping them. My responsibility was taking care of Chloe, keeping her entertained and away from the painting. At one point we left the house making a run to Home Depot for more supplies. We also had lunch at McDonald's and visited my parents. After doing these things for most of the day on Saturday I had run out of tricks. I was tired, she was tied, and nothing I did made her happy. Finally, I got a little impatient with her and raised my voice which is totally out of character when I am with her. She is the apple of my eye and usually I cherish any time with her. Later I apologized to her. She kissed and hugged me and I knew I was forgiven. That night she slept on my pillow and whenever I woke up, I looked at her and reminded myself how much I love her and how grateful I am to be her "Pa Paw".

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