Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Family Stability

One of my children recently gave my wife and me a compliment. That in and of itself is an historical event. A few days ago my oldest son said “Mom, you and Dad are the only people I know who have stayed married and you’ve always been there for me no matter what”. This realization came to him because of family complications that often become evident around Christmas time and other holidays. In my own family we are having to make adjustments this year because of new people and new situations. There is no doubt that the definition of family has evolved over the years. However, I don’t think the evolution of what family means is the problem. I think the problem is the instability that many children and even some adults feel as relationships change, people come and go in our lives, and emotional adjustments must be made. I have not found marriage and family life to be a walk in the park by any means. I’m sure my wife would say the same. It’s been a lot of work. However, for the sake of my children and my granddaughter, I am happy that my wife and I have stuck together. We all need a safe harbor in our lives and I am glad my wife and I can be that for our sons and granddaughter. My parents and my wife’s parents were both married over 50 years. I appreciate the effort they made to do that and I hope my children appreciate the effort my wife and I have made. A sense of stability is part of feeling secure. I understand that some relationships need to end and I am not being judgmental or critical of others. I also understand that some relationships end that cause heartbreak. However, when you grow up and become an adult, relationships are not like going steady in high school. At some point one must choose wisely, make a commitment, be faithful, do the work, and hope for some good luck.

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