Marriage

This past Saturday was my 39^th wedding anniversary.  I made a note of it on Facebook and one person took me to task over the way I did it.  They basically said, “Michael, you’re supposed to say how wonderful it’s been, not how long it’s been”.  I am not saying there haven’t been some wonderful moments.  Marriage, however, is an experience that differs from one couple to another couple in as many ways as there are couples.  I was 23 years old when I got married and I realize now that I had absolutely no idea what I was doing at the time.  With all due respect to my wife, I have found marriage and family life very difficult.  This is more about me than about them.  Marriage is hard and it takes a lot of work.  In many ways a marriage and a family is like running a business.  The wife is usually the CEO and the CFO and the husband is the maintenance man.  However, marriage has been a good thing for me in many ways.  It has given me a stability in my life that I needed.  It has provided a level of comfort that is more than acceptable.  It has caused me, and sometimes demanded me, to put others ahead of myself.  I wish I could tell all the young people I know that marriage is not a Romeo and Juliet experience where you hold hands and spend your whole life walking in the park.  This certainly has not been my experience.  I am married to a very good person and I try to be a good husband.  Some days I do this better than other days.  Even with all its challenges, I think marriage can be a good thing and I believe the decline of marriage is the source of many of society’s problems.  I am not sure what kind of grade I will get as a husband or as a father but as difficult as its been for me I have tried to do my best.