Thursday, January 30, 2014

Why I Write

Yesterday, after sharing my struggles with writer’s block and life in general, I received some very nice notes from co-worker’s and strangers.  I truly appreciated them.  Sometimes people ask me if my wife and children read my daily thoughts.  To be honest I think they delete them more often than they read them.  They don’t see me as a wise man or a Zen Master.  At home I am just Dad and Paw Paw.  I like to joke that the reason I am not held in high esteem at home is that “a prophet is never accepted in his own country”.  This may also be true with some of my co-workers since they see my weaknesses and occasional hissy fits.  It seems that what people like best about my daily thoughts is my relationship with my granddaughter and my overall honesty about how I feel.  I want to inspire people and I hope that people will read my thoughts and think deeply about their own lives.  There is way too much superficiality in the world, too many people playing too many games, and too many people obsessed with power, prestige, and the accumulation of stuff.  I am not into power or controlling others.  I don’t really care about prestige although I do want to be seen as a person of character and integrity.  I try not to be materialistic but I am sometimes obsessed with collecting music and books and I admit I have a very comfortable life.  I am a contemplative person.  This does not mean I am holy.  It means that I am a person who is naturally reflective and introspective.  It is part of my DNA.  I cannot live without meaning and purpose.  I cannot easily do anything that has no obvious meaning or purpose.  This can be very challenging in the workplace.  I strive to live life on a level deeper than the obvious reality around me.  This is both a blessing and a curse.  Some days I wish I could just chill out and simply live.  I sometimes envy people that don’t think so much.  All of this is why I am compelled to write.  In a sense it’s how I relieve stress.  I need to express myself and writing seems to be the best way I can do it.  If my ability to write and my honesty about my feelings and struggles is helpful for you, then I am a happy man.  

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