Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Balance Is Found In The Tension Of Opposites

I am a dreamer, a romantic, and an idealist. It's a tough combination and a very challenging way to live. I suppose if I am honest I must admit there's also an element of sadness about me because I expect so much from life and it rarely lives up to my expectations. However, I am not all doom and gloom. The payoff for being such a person is that I can quickly be swept off my feet into a perfect Zen moment or a grace filled experience of contemplation. Life will sometimes ambush me with unexpected bliss. C.S. Lewis wrote a book called "Surprised by Joy". I have the book on my bookshelf although I haven't completed it. My appetite for acquiring books is greater than my ability to actually read them. The point is that I am often surprised by joy but I also think there is a price for such surprises. My ability to deeply feel bliss and joy is balanced by the experience of also feeling very sad at times. I don't bounce back and forth. I am not bipolar. I am not usually high or low on the happiness meter. I actually think I am a rather balanced person. I once came up with the thought that "balance is found in the tension of opposites". My personal balance is found in the tension of feeling great joy and, occasionally, deep sadness.

I once read that the so called "mid life crisis" is caused when everything that worked for you in your life up to that point stops working for you and what were weaknesses or secondary strengths and skills suddenly push themselves to the fore front. It's almost like your life is turned upside down in mid life and you must start living with different skills. I don't know if this is really true or not. I recently started thinking about it after taking a "brain test" to determine if I am a left brain or right brain person. On previous tests I always came out as a right brain person and that seemed to make sense to me. This recent test, however, said I was a left brain person. I'm sure most people know the difference but for those that don't, left brain people tend to be more analytical and right brain people are usually more conceptual and abstract. Certainly the right brain concept fits my own perception of myself as a dreamer and one who is somewhat creative. In the workplace, however, I am considered by many as very analytical and numbers oriented. In the workplace I'm very good at "crunching the numbers" and analyzing them. I am considered by many to be a deep thinker who can connect the dots and see the big picture. I think all of this is mostly true but at the end of the day I am still a dreamer, a romantic, and an idealist who loves to be surprised by joy. When joy happens I don't try to analyze it. I just enjoy it.

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